Chika Jonah Writes

Tag: relationships

  • 5 things you would never know about me

    1) I hate it when my nails break

    I got natural clean nails from my dad. Since I’m used to having them long since I’ve never cut them before, it really pisses me off when they get cracked and eventually break. It ruins my mood.

    2) I sleep this way almost every night

    Funny right? Don’t blame me. Since I’m looking like a big lady, rubbing powder all over my face before going to bed makes me feel like a child. And I sleep more comfortably sleeping that way. I also forgot to add that the smell of powder fills my nostrils with calm and peace.

    3) I haven’t fixed a hair in two years cuz I hate them.

    I hate the fact that I have to comb and comb and oil and knot and do all this stuff just to get one hair ready. I’m impatient so I end up ruining my hair. And I hate the heat, weavons give me unbearable heat and makes me scratch my neck all the time. So I dumped it and focused on carrying braids.

    4) I don’t like jean pants

    They make me look really cool and sexy but I don’t like them because they make me sweat all the time. And anything that makes me sweat is a no no for me. Wearing them can draining at times. You have to push in your legs and drag and drag till they eventually reach your waist. Ain’t got no strength for that.

    5) I sleep on the ground 350 nights out of 365 nights of the year.

    Not because I don’t like my bed but because I feel more comfortable on the floor. The floor is always cold, it’s hard and it’s more wider and limitless which makes it all the more sweet. Plus I’ve gotten used to it, since I slept on the floor as a child.

    I’m sharing this not because I want to share my inner happenings with the world but because I want you to think differently about yourself and people.

    When you meet people or friends don’t see the perfection they display in front of them. You should realize there’s a lot of mess in their lives that make that outer look so perfect.

    Including you too

    Who said those weird excesses you have ain’t cute. They are. They may seem awkward and strange to the world but they make you comfortable and calm so indulge in them. Embrace your silliness and childishness.

    In the same light share those strange/bizarre habits you have that no one knows about by dropping a comment and let’s have fun.

    P/S – Keep praying and stay safe.

  • GUEST POST: EMOTIONAL CONDOM

    Its such a miracle how God uses the simplest silliest things *laughs* to inspire us and leave us perplexed at his wisdom. That was what happened with this post.

    My featured guest blogger this week is; Ebisidor Ann Azu.

    Bio – Ebisidor Ann has been a blogger for some time now, she is also a teen coach, mentor, author and the mouthpiece of The Siaisiai Ebisidor Foundation. (A movement that puts smiles on the faces of children as we put them in classrooms). She is passionate about healthy relationships, people living their best life the way God intended and lifting children up to love and growth. She blogs passionately at www.talk2ebijanded.com you should go see what she’s up to.

    This is what she shares;

    Can I have a condom please?
    If you had bagged some negative acts/dramas last year 2019, fall in here and read this piece. Trust me, it’s not that deep but it’s a must read so as to have a better 2020.

    When Chika, reached out to me in respect to featuring me on her blog, the issue on getting what to write on bothered me. I thought to myself,what on earth can I possibly write on; it just popped up to write on emotional condom.

    As we know that condom is a cool protection used when having sex and it’s basically against sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancy as the case may be.

    Today, I’ll be writing on emotional condom. Protecting yourself from emotional stress,issues, dramas this year.

    An emotional condom is the mental parallel to the physical condom – an actual condom keeps your sexual organs from getting damaged, an emotional condom keeps your heart and mind from getting damaged.

    Last year, I personally did not use this condom and a whole lot happened to me… Trust me, I know better now. It is my responsibility to get an emotional condom for myself to have a cool year. You should too!

    *An Emotional condom in respect to relationship (Friendship or dating)*

    When you don’t trust a friend enough to let them get close to you.

    When to wear a “friendship condom”?

    When you are still friends but you don’t open up to them or get close emotionally in fear of them being fake with bad intentions. You must be careful trust me.

    When to wear a “dating condom”?

    My darling, you must be more careful. You should know by now with all the experiences you’ve had that you’re not a trash spot. If they are not making conscious effort to be in your life, please leave them with no second thought. It’s your life you know. Better to be alone than be emotionally messed up.

    I remember a friend of mine that cried a number of times because the love cards did not favour her… The only advice I could think of giving her was to allow love be for now, be whole as a single, find new ways to loving herself more and somehow, love would find her. This worked for me though and I pray it does for her.

    Come to think of it, this piece is not strictly on emotions only, you can apply it to physical, psychological, and financial aspects of your life. The most important thing is that the condom is used.

    This year 2020,don’t go everywhere…

    Don’t do everything…

    Don’t allow everything…

    Ensure that you are emotionally protected. Learn to say no when you need to.

    Do not trade your happiness for anything.

    Stay alone if it gives you peace of mind.

    Read good books and keep good company.

    Invest and help humanity this year.

    From my janded empire,I wish you a 2020 of progress and good tidings. Cheers.

    If this post has inspired you, don’t leave without dropping a lovely comment for Ebisidor and a comment to encourage others. God bless you. Hugs xoxo.

  • Where did the wooing mission go wrong?

    Guys I must applaud you. You men are amazing. How do you guys get the heart to ask a lady out? I mean its really not an easy thing wooing a lady. Its like gambling and it could either be a win win or a total loss. Whoop! You guys have balls. And when they face rejection they still come out strong and healthy. You guys deserve a pat on the shoulder for all that you face in the hands of we ladies.

    But can you guys stop doing this. Please just stop doing the two things I’m going to point out right now. I’m not a relationship coach but sometimes I hate it when you do this and so does most ladies.

    1. The beginning line

    I went to get something from a close by store that day and I noticed a car buying fruits by the road side. When I came back I still saw him and that was when he stopped me (I knew he saw me passed and probably waited till I came back to act). He wined down the glass.

    “Hello”. I continued walking “Hello”, I heard again and turned back to see who needed my attention.

    “Oh Hi”. I replied.

    “Have we met before? You look familiar”. He asked curiously, expecting a conversation.

    “No, I don’t think I know you”. I replied shaking my head sideways.

    “Do you live around here? I’m trying to recall where I know you from”. He said again. Oh now he is trying to know where I live I thought to myself. “I’m very sure you don’t know me okay”. I said sternly trying to walk away

    “By the way I’m Chris. And you really really look familiar. I feel like I know you from somewhere”. He repeated. This time I was fed up. And felt like punching him. Was this the best he could do? I wondered.

    “Noooo!! You don’t know me and I don’t know you. Simple”. I replied with clenched teeth and stormed out, trying to be civilized, walked inside and burst out laughing.

    Why use that line? Of all the dating line you could use, why that one? Don’t you know that it makes you men look foolish and hopeless (sorry to say) Why are you asking her if she’s familiar with you? Does she look like your mother or does she look like your TV crush or does she look like the girl you see in your dreams? Please don’t. Just greet her and turn back. Please I’m pleading.

    2. Jumping the line of friendship.

    You meet her today and next week your line is “Chika I really like you. Can we please go on a date together? Would you go on a date with me? For what? Are you John Wick? (laughs).

    Let me say it in our Nigerian style “babe I like you. I really want you to be my girlfriend. I for like date you oh”

    Guys why?

    Don’t you know how to build friendship.
    I’m not saying what you are feeling is a lie. Its alright if its love at first sight but please keep it to yourself. Don’t tell her three days after you met her that you love her so much and that since that day you’ve not been able to sleep.

    Its the plans that you’ve laid out to achieve that is giving you sleepless night not her. Four years is not even enough to know someone so why jumping the line and trying to get a grown ass woman in just one weak or one month of meeting her.

    Build friendship so that you’ll eventually get all of her. If you jump the line of friendship you may end up getting nothing or getting fragments of her.
    To avoid rejection, disgrace and long term suffering, build friendship.

    Be wise

    See you in 2020