Tag: dreams

  • Where Do You Want To Be In 5 years? (Reflection on effective goal setting)

    Someone asked me this question few days ago; Chika, where do you want to be in 5 years?

    I’m sure the person is probably going to hate me from that day because my answer was not nice at all. hahaha

    I answered that, “I did not understand last year, I’m still trying to understand & navigate this year. Am I Jesus Christ that I would know where I’d want to be in five years from now? I don’t like nonsense joor.” laughs

    I made a joke out of it because I was pissed by the question in the first place. I just didn’t want to sound rude or ignore the person asking so I made light of it.

    So let me ask you the same question; Where do you want to be in 5 years?

    Relax

    Breathe

    Take a chill pill

    Don’t be in a haste to answer the question

    This is not a question you can just answer with anything that comes to your head.
    Like; I just want more money, I want to be rich 5 years from now, I want to have my own house 5 years from now, I want to travel to Dubai etc.

    Often times this is a question that would take a lot of deep thinking. A question that should be reflected upon for better goal setting.

    No one truly knows where they want to be next week because the future is uncertain. They only know the things that they can control. In setting those goals, the question you should ask yourself is; have you made room for the things you cannot control?

    This is the problem I have with this “where do you want to be in 5 years” question.

    It is not realistic and it is often not achievable.

    How can your answer to the “where do you want to be in 5 years” question be more realistic?

    By following these goal setting steps;

    Step 1

    Picture the Big Dream.

    Now let’s use my big goal as a case study. I have this inner intense dream of working with Caprisonne Nigeria one day in the future. Maybe as a brand strategist or creative writer or anything. I love caprisonne, in fact I can’t do without it and I believe in that piece of sweet product so much. (I’m sure all of you know this by now) So working with them would be a dream come true.

    I also want this blog to birth hundreds of undiluted unfinished stories of people from different part of the world. Whilst training young people on creative writing and storytelling. As well as publishing a fiction novel and several self help books & inspirational books.

    That’s the picture of some of the dreams and goals I have. It’s important you picture the dream as many as they are and don’t loose that picture.

    Step 2

    Don’t time frame the big dream.

    The problem with the “where do you want to be in 5 years” question isn’t that the question is wrong. Its just that a lot of things can go wrong after asking this question.

    The first wrong thing is that this question disregards the beauty of time in the fulfillment of your dreams.

    Why 5 years? Why put a time to it? The question should be “Where do you want to be in the future?” Not in 5 years. Five years can come and nothing would happen. Yet, fifteen years can pass by and everything you ever dreamt of starts manifesting.

    Its just like setting a deadline to your goals. And that leaves no room for the supernatural. No room for the miracles heaven has proposed to happen. No room for the events beyond your control.

    Instead of beating yourself towards achieving that 5 year goal that may not happen due to reasons beyond your power. Why not give yourself the freedom to enjoy the process as you work towards that goal. And embrace it when you get that breakthrough whether it happens now, seven years from now or ten years from now.

    Step 3

    Set smaller achievable goals and fix a deadline if you must.

    When you have a picture of the big dream, and you’ve understood that setting a time frame limits the ability for your dreams to bloom fully, and leaves you in a terrible state when it doesn’t happen during that time frame, then the next step is to set smaller achievable goals that you can pilot on your own terms.

    Let’s use our case study again.

    Like I said earlier one of my big dreams is to work with caprisonne and there is no need putting a time span to its fulfillment because now I understand that, I’m not the owner of caprisonne, neither am I the controller. So its beyond my power to secure a huge spot with them just because I wish to.

    But here is something I can do; by setting smaller achievable goals I can position myself properly to earn their recognition. I can also build my influence around the heartwarming bond I have with caprisonne. And even if I don’t end up working with them I’d still win because I’ve built a strong community and influence around what I love.

    Do you now see why setting smaller achievable goals are important?

    After setting those small goals, fixing a deadline around it becomes more realistic and more achievable.

    I can easily say I’d want to be a published author in the next 5 years. Now thats more realistic! Because its totally in my power to achieve that. All I have to do is start the book and be consistent at it.

    You can easily say I want to acquire two landed properties at Golf estate Portharcourt in the next 5 years rather than saying I want to own the entire golf estate in the next five years.

    Before screaming aloud where you’d want to be in 5 years, make sure you understand the principles of goal setting, reflect on what you truly want, to avoid welcoming unnecessary pressures and tension. And prepare adequately. The place of preparation can never be overemphasized.

    I’d rather you answer “where you’d want to be in the future” question than where do you want to be in 5 years.

    I hope you get the message.

    Your turn; where would you want to be in the near future? I’ve told you mine already drop your answer in the comment. You never can tell, someone may be watching closely.

  • What’s on your Wish list?

    Dare wanted just one thing.

    To leave Nigeria.

    To leave this ruined country (in his exact words)

    He was done with college but what was the need? His certificate was as good as useless because there were no jobs in the country.

    He booked sessions with several Agency’s for visa requirements.
    Wrote all the said necessary exams to boost his success rate.

    Two years later Dare was broke, all his savings went to failed attempts at securing a permanent visa. Yet, he still wanted to leave the country. That was his only wish.


    Nene is such a sweet girl

    A caring being with a kind soul

    Who doesn’t have any wish…funny right?

    Her wish are only fragments of her mothers wish.

    What her mom wants is what she wants.

    She doesn’t allow herself dream

    Her mom does all the dreaming for her.

    Her mom’s dreams are hers. Her moms wishes are hers too.

    For her what she wants doesn’t matter only what her mom wants for her.


    Meet Grace.

    Grace is such a wild one

    Amazingly bold and full of energy

    Who has a whole lot of dreams and wishes.

    Grace wants to make money

    Grace doesn’t want to get married before thrity to avoid distractions.

    She wants to build a world of her own. Freedom to do whatever she wants.

    While Dare, Nene and Grace’s wishes are different. They still have them wishes. And now you know their wishlist

    So what are you thinking?
    That something is missing?

    No. I don’t think so

    That those wishes won’t come true? Who told you so? They may all come true, if not all, some.

    Then what point I’m I trying to make? You may ask.

    Chill. I’ll tell you…

    You have a wish list like Dare, Nene and Grace. Some are wilder and bigger than others and some if not all may come true while some would never play out the way you want them to.

    Why?

    Because you’re only focused on what you have wished and prayed for and overlooking something else.

    Gods Wish.

    Is your wish list in line with Gods wish list?

    Are you hell bent on pursuing that which you’ve decided to pursue without consulting from God first, to know if it is his will?

    Remember your dreams and wishes may be specific, mighty and great but it isn’t perfect and can never be if God isn’t involved.

    It is only Gods will that is good, pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2

    So allow him in and let him redirect your path to his perfect will for you, so you don’t end up wasting your time pursuing dreams that weren’t yours in the first place.

    To avoid delays, waste and failure go back to your goals and check gain if it has Gods approval.

    You’ll know when its Gods will. His word says;
    “And these signs shall follow them that believe…”
    Mark 16:17

    And;

    “However when He, the Spirit of Truth, is come, He will guide you into all truth; for He shall not speak from Himself, but whatsoever He shall hear, that shall He speak; and He will show you things to come”
    John 16:13

    Just pay attention. And follow his directions

    So what’s on your wish list?

    What are your thoughts after reading this? What have you learned from Dare, Nene and Grace?

  • The Answer to the question of fear

    She woke me up that morning with the question “Chika why are you so fearless?”

    I smiled thinking of how bold i was always speaking out my mind anywhere anytime and to anybody. How bold i was being independent. How bold i was even when lonely.

    “Dear, I’m sorry i thought i was fearless but now i realize I’m not so fearless as you think”. I replied.

    Don’t say that Chiq, I know you”. She said softly.

    I know you did but so did i. I thought i knew myself so well but now i know nothing. I thought i wasn’t scared of anything. But I’m scared of snakes, i cant watch a movie that has a snake scene in it. I’m scared of doing things for myself so I’ll rather do for others. I’m scared of spending money on myself so I’ll rather spend it on others. I’m scared of rejection so i break up with my boyfriends after every three months. Do you want me to go on and on?” I breathed heavily.

    No! Its okay. Just relax Chika. I’m sorry. I’ll drop it for now but nothing can change how strong and bold you are no matter how long your list of fears may be. Remember that”. She said as a matter of fact. “Let me give you some space. Ill be back”. She walked out.

    Ever noticed that our dreams are always planned in our head. How we want our date to go? How we want the weekend to play out? How we want the holidays to be well spent? How we want to do this for this and that? We plan that perfect picture in our head. We strategize in our head. We kick start in our head. We even visualize our victory, achievement and triumph in our head. We visualize the smile, the handshake also in our head. All in our head but not in reality.

    When the time comes to put them down fear creeps in , it clouds all the victory we’ve already ascertain in our mind. We halt. We stop. We shake. We fidget.

    What has really helped me conquer this is what i learnt recently “Fear is a risk and being fearless is also a risk” but what risk are you willing to take?

    I decided ill take the risk of conquering fear and grabbing the victory that fear had denied me for so long than bowing down to fear and living with regrets for the rest of my life.

    When fear tries stopping you from doing that which you want to do, that is the right time to do it. When fear says ‘wait’, starting immediately should be the next course of action. When fear says ‘don’t do it’ don’t hesitate, just simply do it.

    So yesterday i watched THE NOTEBOOK Hindi movie (its a must watch movie of 2019. Check it out guys its great) and when the snake came to attack the children at school i held still, opened my eyes widely, with my hands shaking and watched every bit of it. I screamed so loudly, Whoop! I did it. I was so proud of myself that i had to pat my self on the shoulder ( you guys won’t understand i wished i did that earlier i wouldn’t have missed the snake scene at ‘witches of the east end TV series). It was a great accomplishment for me. And I’m glad i conquered one fear yesterday. So don’t hesitate. Just do it.

    So what are your fears? And how do you plan on conquering them?

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