Chika Jonah Writes

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  • Dying Slowly

    Dying slowly

    Dying slowly

    Oma saw Anita coming and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes while she continued writing out the prescription drugs on a piece of paper.

    “Oma!” Anita called.

    “Yes.”

    “I just saw the doctor, he said that so far the treatment has been effective but he doesn’t understand why in recent times she has not been responding to the treatment. They have to perform another test. And…and…its going to cost seventy five thousand naira.” Anita informed sadly.

    “What? Seventy five thousand naira! How the hell am I supposed to get that much money?”, She staggered back and leaned on the wall. With hands ruffling her hair, looking at Anita with those painful eyes. “Take a look at these”, She handed over the prescription paper to Anita and as Anita read through her face changed. “Oh God!” Anita whispered.

    “Now th…i…s too.” Oma fell to the chair and sobbed uncontrollably. Anita rushed to her and wrapped her hands around her.

    “Six months Ani”, Oma spoke in between tears. “Six months of been in this dreadful hospital. Six months of dropping it all. Of trying to save her life. And now there is nothing left. We have nothing. I have nothing to give her Ani.” She cried.

    “No. No. Don’t say that baby.” A lone tear fell from Anita’s eyes as she held her friend tightly. She could feel the pain Oma went through. She had seen Oma go through hell to help her Sister who was diabetic suffering from a lung infection. She left her job to take care of her. She sold everything she had just to afford the hospital bills. Spent sleepless night catering for her and was constantly praying for her.

    Oma pushed Anita away “She should die. She should just die and end this misery.” Oma barked.

    “What? I don’t think you know what you’re saying.” Anita said, uncertain of how to respond.

    “I meant every word.” Oma replied her sternly.

    Anita raised her had and slapped Oma on the cheeks. “Are you out of your mind?” She screamed. Quickly she grabbed Oma’s shoulder and shook her vigorously, “Don’t you dare say that again. If you really meant it, then why are you still here? You should have been at home taking a nap, surfing the internet or chatting with friends. But you chose to be here. Fighting this battle. Don’t give up baby. I beg you. Please don’t give up.” She took Oma back into her arms and Oma cried on her shoulders.

    “I’m sorry. I’m just tired.” She wept uncontrollably.

    “I’m too tired” She whispered. Anita gave her a slow pat “I know. I know baby. You’ll be fine. We will all be fine.” She reassured her friend.

    They sat down there for a long time until Oma stood up “look after her Ani, I’ll go arrange the money somehow and get her the drugs. Lets prep her for this test.” Anita nooded.

    Before she left she quickly took a glance at her sister, who was sleeping softly on her bed. She couldn’t help but wonder what she was dreaming about.

    She walked towards her, leaned to her right ear and said those words she had been meaning to say, “Don’t you dare die on me sis. Fight. Fight hard and come home to me. Okay?” She stroked her cheeks warmly and left.

    Four weeks later Oma’s sister died after a prolonged seizure. She fought so hard for so long, but towards the last week, she went into a coma and didnt survive the seizure.

    There was so much pain and tears and sorrow in the room. Everyone was either wailing or sniffing. Only Oma didnt cry. She stood at a corner too shocked to do anything. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t cry. There was no more tears left to cry and nothing left to say. Only pain to feel.

    What they didn’t know was that, Oma died slowly every time she watched her sister fight her sickness in pain and agony, pieces by pieces till there was nothing left of her.

    Nothing.

    THE END

    What are your thoughts on the dying slowly story? Did you wish things ended differently for OMA? Just drop your thoughts in the comment below.

    Read the waking up story series here

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  • 2 Importance of Self Awareness in Relationships

    The importance of self awareness would be visible in this story I’m about to share with you.

    Ruth was sitting at the living room when Iyke stormed in with a frown on his face. “Fuck you Ruth!” Ruth shook in fear and turned back only to see Iyke walking towards her. “why would you do such a thing?” He asked. “Are you stupid?”.

    “What’s the problem Iyke?” Ruth asked perplexed.

    “You should have told me before talking to Mandy about our plan. Are you a fool or what?” He answered. Her body stiffened and looked like she was about to cry.

    “But its not much of a big deal. Mandy is not a stranger to either of us. For Christ sake, this plan involves her as much as it does us. Its not enough reason for you to react this way. If you don’t like that I told her, then I’m sorry. I apologize.” She said finally and left.

    While she was outside she took a deep breath, she was furious. Furious every time she replayed his choice of words in her head. Every time he used fowl languages on her or cuss words. She didn’t like that he did that. In fact, she abhored it. He was a beautiful man with a charming soul. Except when he talks, he says things in the most absurd way; “I love you brat.” Or “Hey bitch.” Or “silly girl I miss you.”

    At first it was cute, she thought he was just been blunt but now she knew it was getting out of control. And now she was suffocating. She just held it in because she didn’t want to make an issue out of something so little. After all, he was so sweet to her, respected her, took good care of her and loved her.

                                 ***

    Are you angry with Ruth? Angry that she should have just told Iyke how she felt and how she wanted to be treated. laughs Well, sadly some of you are like Ruth. If Ruth knew the importance of self awareness then she wouldn’t hesitate to communicate her concerns with her partner.

    Before knowing the importance of self awareness its best you understand what self awareness truly is.

    Self awareness is simply knowing and seeing yourself first.
    Self awareness doesn’t end in knowing & seeing yourself for who & what you are or want, it is also been able to make objective decisions for your happiness based on your self discovery about yourself.

    Know yourself first before trying to know someone else.

    Some weeks ago someone asked me, “Chika what’s your weakness?” And I blabbered along and listed my weaknesses to this person. Contrary to years back when someone asked me, “Chika what makes you thick?” I just stared at the person and after giving it a thought I shamefully replied, “I don’t have an idea.” Then it dawned on me that Chika you are now aware of yourself and that’s a good thing compared to the past when I didn’t know the importance of self awareness.

    Being self aware makes you know your moments of emotions, feelings, actions and reactions. When you are self aware nothing gets to you. People only have power over you when you are ignorant of this fact. I can walk on the road and someone makes a side remark “short girl” and I’ll hear it and continue walking because its obvious that I’m short. I know already. There’s no need to remind me. laughs

    If you’re self aware, you begin to know what you can handle, how you react to situations, what you can tolerate, how to avoid tough situations etc. Self awareness makes you emotionally intelligent.

    The reason why your relationships has become enduraceship is because you lack self awareness. You are simply enduring your partner not enjoying him/her because you don’t know what you want. You are not self aware about your needs, aspirations, desires and obligations. None. You are just enjoying sweetness like Ruth but behind the curtains you feel hurt almost always. Some only care about daily 2k hahaha

    Some things to be self aware of include;

    • Who you are?
    • What you are capable of doing?
    • What are your believes & values?
    • What are those boundaries you can’t cross?
    • What makes you angry?
    • What makes you happy?
    • What are your strengths and weaknesses?
    • What do you want in your partner?
    • What inspires you?
    • What do you truly want out of life?
    • What are your dreams & visions
    • What is your purpose?
    • Do you want to get married?
    • Do you want to have children?
    • Do you want to further your education?
    • What can and can’t you tolerate?
    • What kind of people do you welcome into your corner?

    The list is endless…but when you know these things and consciously reflect on them as you grow and evolve, you’d live a more fulfilling life.

    The Importance of Self Awareness in Relationships

    1. Healthy relationship with yourself.

    My God! This right here is a huge importance of self awareness. There is something Campbell the author of Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person said that I love so much. He said, “Self-awareness keeps us grounded, attuned and focused.” And i couldn’t agree more.

    A healthy relationship with yourself starts with being self aware. If you are not aware of who you are then you cannot love yourself the way you ought to. And if you can’t love yourself, no amount of love from anyone else would make you see your self better.

    Being self aware boosts your confidence. Because now you know yourself so much that whatever you do or say emanates an aura of confidence that makes people in awe of you. You pamper yourself and pamper others. You do things that you now know makes you happy. You make decisions that are good for you. Omo! What a cool vibe! winks Wahala for who no know em self this valentine oh. Haha

    1. Healthy relationship with others.

    Yes. This is another importance of self awareness because the bible knew what he was doing when he gave us the golden rule; “treat others in the same way you’ll treat yourself.”

    This is why a stingy person cannot hide his/her self. Because they are stingy to themselves first before they are stingy to others. In the same way, you can’t love others without loving yourself. When you love yourself as a result of how aware you’ve become, that love begins to spread towards others.

    Thats how they will ask you, what kind of woman do you want? And your answer would be; a good woman. Hey God! Don’t do that please. Some women are good but they are foolish upstairs. Some men are good but they are bunch of lazy dudes. And when the good woman come into your life, three months later there’s already catastrophe in the relationship because you weren’t self aware of your needs and desires. Be specific.

    I don’t have stingy friends because I dislike stingy people. If I meet you and like you and later find out that you are not a giver, I run. I don’t endure. I don’t manage. I’m not a manager and neither are you. So please communicate your awareness adequately to build a healthy relationship with yourself and others as well.

    Valentine is coming. Be self aware before you shoot that shot. So that you’ll not have a Val that has pink lips, six packs, speaks well but cannot flush the toilet after shitting. I come in peace. Hahaha

    Any thoughts or opinions on what you just read? Are you self aware? Even felt left out in your relationship because you weren’t self aware of what you wanted? Please share in the comment.

  • My journey as a female entrepreneur in Nigeria.

    My journey as a female entrepreneur in Nigeria has been a mouthful says Aniekeme Umoren our Guest writer.

    Aniekeme Umoren(Ann) is an entrepreneur, with a degree in Accounting. After been an Auditor for a year, she is currently the team manager of Partylane Dynamic Concept.
    She entered the entrepreneurial world to explore her passion for Fashion and add beauty to human lives. Life to her means family and friends who can be trusted. She is self driven, she takes pride in providing the best products and services to customers/clients.

    Connect with her here;
    Instagram – Beautiful Ankara Fabrics
    Facebook – Beautiful Ankara Fabrics
    Email – aniekemeuby@gmail.com

    Here is what Ann says;

    Where should we start?
    I am grateful for the opportunity given to me to share my experience. Chi, thanks again.
    And to everyone reading, I hope we learn from my intriguing yet eye-opening journey as a female entrepreneur in Nigeria.

    Having an entrepreneurial vision is interesting, I would lie if I say it’s one of the smoothest Journey ever. Hmm…it isn’t.
    I stopped applying for a job when I realised that I was wasting my time doing so.
    Are you shocked to hear me say so?

    Female entrepreneur in Nigeria

    It all started immediately after my National Youth Service Corps(NYSC). I had this poor mindset that after my NYSC program I would find a white collar job.

    Well, it turned out to be the opposite.
    I kept applying for jobs in different places (banks to be precise) I love Bankers and was obsessed with the banking industry.

    Few weeks later, I was called up for interviews at different banks.
    I got rejected at the finals due to the fact that I was newly married and they believed I wouldn’t be able to perform my duty as required; such as traveling round the world, working late etc.

    Should I say… Fortunately, I gave up my dreams of working in the bank and began reading Brain Tracy’s book “CHANGE YOUR THINKING, CHANGE YOUR LIFE” that was all I needed at that point in time. I lost focus, was depressed and full of negative thoughts that my friends have all made it through life and I’m still stagnated. I needed something to get my hopes high, and all I could think of was reading a book. Thankfully, the book did help redirect my thoughts.

    I realized there was something missing in my world and that was FASHION. Fashion has always been my day one dream right from childhood, have always played with colors, pieces of clothes, drawings, threads and needle. smiles

    I had to turn my focus to Fashion. But then I had obstacles; financial obstacles hindering me from getting things done immediately. Like the saying “there’s nothing free in Freetown not to talk of Nigeria.” laighs Becoming a female entrepreneur in Nigeria wasn’t going to be easy so I had to improvise.

    Something that could actually relate to fashion. To avoid procrastination I had to start somewhere, anywhere and anyhow.
    I ordered 15pieces of Ankara fabrics and began selling them to people around me.
    Honestly, It was never an easy task. It took me a month to be able to sell out only ’15 fabrics’ laughs.

    I didn’t know how to convince people to buy them so it made it very difficult to sell out. I was terrible at marketing. An important skill that would help me successfully be a female entrepreneur in Nigeria. At some point I got scared of what my life has become. It was so frustrating and I was a little hopeless.

    After a while, I created a business account on social media( Instagram and Facebook precisely) I bought more fabrics about 15pieces, I uploaded them and waited for response like forever. No one called, no notifications, no DMs. I was frustrated. tears

    I went to my husband’s book shelf again, skimmed through the books. My eyes caught Joe Girard book “HOW TO SELL ANYTHING TO ANYBODY”. I read it repeatedly. It took me days to understand and realize that I had a lot of upgrading and trimming to do with my brand and my self.

    Who wouldn’t follow up procedures in such circumstances? I had to.
    I bought about 25pieces of ankara Fabrics, 16yards of senators, 10pieces of plain and patterns and 12yards of brocades.
    And I started selling rapidly. It didn’t take me more than 2 weeks to be able to sell them all, I restocked and kept the process going. I was so happy for a long time. You may see it as a small win but this victory alone got me motivated to do more.

    It didn’t end there. As time went by I felt I needed to revamp and rebrand my Instagram page and it was done by Chika smiles she did an excellent job. The rebranding alone brought more clients especially on Instagram. I deleted trash of pictures on my Facebook business page and focused on just my brand and what I could offer.

    Today, I can say that I receive calls from people I don’t know before, most of my clients are from social media. The irony. I can now call myself a female entrepreneur in Nigeria. I won’t say that I have blow, in fact, I am just getting started. I’m only at a place where I enjoy what I do.

    So what’s my point here? To be called an entrepreneur in Nigeria or an entrepreneur of any kind is very pleasant but the question is are you ready to face the challenges that come afterwards or are you going to listen to people’s negativity or just quit?

    It is important to have a true inner desire for your passion. And in business that’s truly what it takes at the end of the day.

    6 Tips to help you be a successful male/female entrepreneur in Nigeria

    1. Just stay focused.
    2. Test your potentials(i.e passion, self confidence etc)
    3. Read books.
    4. Avoid procrastination.
    5. Redefine your skills to match your business.
    6. Be self driven (motivate your self, no one will do it for you)

    I trust this piece has been of great value to you
    Thanks for your time and thank you for having me.

    Please leave Ann your feedbacks, questions, kind words and compliments in the comment. She’s right there waiting on you. winks

    Our last guest post by Prince James is a must read by everyone

    Kemi Ojumobi wrote an article for Business day on some of the most powerful female entrepreneurs in Nigeria and the story Its deeply motivating I must say.