Chika Jonah Writes

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  • Your Unfinished Success Story

    This success story is unfinished because for me, success is not a destination. Success is a journey of starting something and watching it grow.

    Success is more of seeing something you started grow and flourish everyday bit by bit.

    I went to visit my friend and my Godson on Sunday and on my way there I couldn’t help but smile when I was right in front of a woman I used to buy fresh pepper and tomatoes from. Everything was different and it was so beautiful to see. She was attending to someone so I simply passed and made a mental note to say hi to her when I was going back home.

    The man she sold for saw me always turning back and smiling and caught up with me when he was done buying his food stuffs.

    “I saw you smiling at her, is everything okay?”

    “Yes,” I smiled again. “The growth is blinding sir. She has two tables now. My God!” I exclaimed laughing.

    “Oh. Now I understand you. I’m so proud of her. She started from almost nothing and looking at how she has made something tangible for herself.” He replied.

    “Yes. I mean, she started with just a medium sized stainless tray that had a lot of space. Just few pieces of tomatoes and pepper she arranged inside her tray and kept on a high wooden stool for people to see. What caught my attention then was how consistent she was even under the scotching Sunday afternoon sun. And her tomatoes were always fresh and red.” I added smiling sheepishly.

    “Hmm…for me it was the fact that she always came out on Sunday. And you know how people sometimes looked for some food items to buy on Sunday and no one would be selling? She was the only one that was selling after service on Sunday.”

    “Wow! I agree to that.” He nooded and went the other way to his street while I moved on to my friends place.

    When I was going back home by 2pm. I stopped by her table to say hi like I promised myself I would.

    “Good afternoon ma.”

    “Good afternoon my pikin.” She replied.

    “Ma, na you get the whole table?”

    “Yes oh.”

    “Welldone ma. Ah! You try oh. I’ve been your customer since when you started selling with just a tray, Its been long I came here and I cannot believe this. Now you are selling almost everything. Thank God for you oh. God is faithful.”

    “Yes oh. Thank you my dear. I don pay for shop sef opposite.” She announced.

    “What?” My mouth fell open. “Wow! I’m happy for you. God bless you continuously. More to come.” And with that I said my goodbyes and left.

                                 ***
    Success story unfinished

    That woman’s success story watered my heart. I took a lot from it which is why I’m sharing it with you as well. That just maybe you’d see the depth in her story.

    When Priyanka Chopra announced the title of her book “Unfinished” I loved it. I haven’t read it yet but I know that it’s something I would want to read.

    “Our stories are unfinished.”

    Priyanka said.

    You may tell them your story. In fact, you should keep telling the world. The best part is that this blog was created because of stories. Because we all have stories to share, not just success stories but our unfinished stories, however sad and daunting, painful and brutal, sweet and joyful it may be.

    My story is unfinished. Your story is unfinished. This woman’s story is unfinished. Your success story doesn’t end when you get your first job no matter how pleasant that may have felt at a time. It doesn’t stop at when you get your first personal client, no matter how long you’ve dreamt of that happening.

    It doesn’t end as long as you’re alive and breathing. It doesn’t even end when you die. It doesn’t end as long as you are striving. It only ends when you end. It stops when you stop.

    Your Success Story Ends

    1. When you stop
    2. When you leave no legacy
    3. When you don’t live a purposeful life

    Some say the difficult part is starting. Some say the difficult part is continuing. Mehn! I don’t even know which one is more difficult. But I know that you have to answer important questions to begin. You’d have to make tough decisions along to way. You’d have to keep going, keep pushing even when the odds are stacked against you.

    I feel like this woman’s drive was lack & poverty. The drive to not be robbed of her basic needs just because of money. The drive to provide for her children and family on those bad days when her husband comes home with nothing. Her success story started with this drive and it was what kept her going.

    What drives you? Why do you do the things you do? Why do you sleep late by 2am and wake up as early as 5am? What makes you restless? Why do you grind daily?

    Let the answer to these questions be the drive you need to keep pushing. And don’t shy away from making tough decisions that would protect what you’ve worked so hard for. (I am guilty in this area) But I’m as well learning.

    Your success story doesn’t end now. It is unfinished. The future has a lot to write and tell about you. And I truly hope I get to be the one to share that unfinished story.

    Love you.

    Drop me a nice comment in the comment section. Or send me a mail or a message I any of my Social media handles and let’s talk more.

  • 3 Dire Consequences Of Ignoring The Holy Spirit

    The consequences of ignoring the holy spirit are dire and detrimental to your existence as a beautiful lady & sophisticated gentleman.

    Ignoring the holy spirit

    The past couple of weeks have been very trying and challenging in almost every area of my life aside from one. winks First my mom was ill, something so little that we even took lightly ended up been so drastic, and would have been destructive if I had kept ignoring the holy spirit. Now as a family we are as fresh as a newly baked cake and equally happy.

    I’ve seen myself make spur of the moment decisions this week. You know those kind of unexpected events that drive you to make decisions you never saw coming. This particular one made me withdrawn, and dampened my resolve to an extent that I had no idea on the way forward, like a plot twist, the only way forward was scary and daunting until I heard his voice.

    “Make that call.” I heard and ignored.

    While focusing on my work, I heard his voice again “this is the best time to make that call Chika.” At this point I checked the time and behold, I understood why the holy spirit was leading me to do that.

    Quickly I made the call and after I did, the restlessness I felt was gone. I was no longer weak. I had a new understanding and revelation on what that situation was about. The fulfillment I got was next to none and I had an overwhelming peace wash over me. That is what obeying the holy spirit does.

    I’m sure you’ve all read this scripture but I’ll still share it. John 14:26

    “The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I’m leaving you well and whole. That’s my parting gift to you.”
    John 14:26 MSG

    The holy spirit makes everything plain. He simplifies the confusing. He eases pain, and comforts the burdened. Ignoring his leading comes at a cost. If I had kept ignoring the holy spirit’s leading, I wonder what health condition my mom would have been now. If I had not listened and allowed myself get distracted, I would have missed something that was his plan for me all along.

    Herald shared a live story of how the holy spirit led him away from the woman he wanted to get married to, that had and was still in bed with every other man in school then, unknown to him.

    And I still wonder the consequences he would have faced if he didn’t receive clarity from God as an answer to his prayers.

    The main reason why you are ignoring the holy spirit is because you are validating why the holy spirit should do what you want instead of listening to what he wants for you.

    “It is not your place to direct the holy spirit. It is your only place to listen and obey his words.”

    And mehn! Obedience is hard when the picture you’ve created seems right. Try throwing it aside and open your eyes to see the perfect picture he has for you.

    What Are The 3 Dire Consequences Of Ignoring The Holy Spirit?

    1. Destruction

    You destroy your life by ignoring the holy spirit. The funny thing about destruction is that, it doesn’t drop like a bomb. No. It creeps in like a termite and explode in your face. When he says do this this way and you do it your own way, gradually you see everything go sour.

    All the efforts, time, money, attention etc all gone. The perfect plans he has for you hangs in the balance because you’re treading on a different path.

    1. Spiritual coldness

    The minute you start ignoring the holy spirit your spiritual life begins to get cold. What is the use of taking his time to tell you things when you won’t listen? The holy spirit craves attention, enjoys friendship and rejoices with a listening ear. And when he no longer gets that, he becomes silent. He doesn’t leave. No.

    He stays quiet waiting for you to call on him. To invite him. To embrace his wisdom & friendship. He stays there because he has chosen to be your friend for life, all that’s left is for you to do the same.

    1. Regret

    Once you start saying “if I had known…,” “I wish I followed my mind,” “why didn’t I listen to…,” that is clearly a consequence of ignoring the holy spirit; Regret. The feeling of regret is a subtle feeling that speaks massively to the mind and negatively as well. It ruins your mental balance and drives you insane.

    You regret why you didn’t listen. You count your loses and blame yourself for being stupid and foolish. You start feeling guilty for been the reason why everything is a mess. Depression steps in, your mental balance worsens and slowly your life fades.

    These consequences are real and I would be lying if I said I haven’t experienced all. How I found my faith back, retreated from been a depressed & bitter person and began living a life void of regret is still a miracle. One I am eternally grateful for.

    I truly hope that going forward, the words written here would push you to prioritize his leading, direction and his voice when he speaks. Even in the little things. Cuz ignoring the holy spirit comes at a huge price.

    Say this prayer with me quickly – “Dear God, let my wants and desires for my life be aligned with your plans and desires for my life. Amen.

    Ever experienced any of these consequences before? Or something that made you feel far from God? Share your thoughts, experiences & questions in the comment below

  • 4 Killers of Communication in professional & personal relationships

    Killers of communication are like termites that ruin communication most times before it even starts. We are in the last days of the month and truthfully, a lot of things went down for me personally in this month and lately I’ve been thinking of bringing up the conversation with my folks and that was when I remembered this story I’m about to tell you now. laughs Don’t worry its nothing dark & daunting.

    Killers of communication

    When I was in my teens; I think between seventeen and nineteen, I wanted to go visit my friends. I missed my secondary (high) school friends and I hadn’t seen the few that lived in Portharcourt then since we all graduated so I made it my mission to reunite with them. I dressed up looking all beautiful & sweet and the next thing was to tell my mom. How would I tell her? Was the next question that popped into my brain. You may say “just tell her na.” Well, you know it doesn’t work that way in an African Nigerian home where staying inside the house is the norm.

    I was scared of her rejection but finally mustered the courage to go to her.

    “Mummy I’m going to my friends place at….”, don’t worry I’ll come back on time.”

    Before she could rain down her investigative questions and silly reasons why I shouldn’t go I went harder, “See mummy I’m already late. We need to meet and share admission details, don’t worry I’ll be back soon.” I smiled and ran off immediately without waiting for all the lectures that would accompany her approval. Hahaha

    After the assurance that I’d come back very early, traffic had other plans for me. I got home by 7pm (not too bad) and I didn’t know how to face my mum. It was a chilly evening but I was sweating like someone that chased a rat to kill. I finally opened the door after what felt like hours and was faced with my parents in the living room.

    “Mummy good evening. Daddy good evening.” I smiled to lighten the mood, “Kai! Mummy the traffic eh. Thank God I’m back oh.” They still did not say anything. I had to find a way to slip into my room. “Let me go and wash the plates.” I said finally and slowly walked into my room. I gave a sigh of relief. ‘Thank God its over.’ I muttered to myself and began undressing when I heard an earth shaking voice that told me it wasn’t over.

    “Chika! Chika! Chika! How many times did I call you? So its Rumuokoro you went to that made you come back by this time? Eh this girl.” I stopped undressing and stood in shock. Too afraid to reply her or come out of my room. That door felt like the only thing protecting me.

    “You better be careful. That boy that you are going to see will be the end of you.” At this point I burst out laughing with my hand covering my mouth.

    “If you like get pregnant. But know that my God knows that I have done my own…” She kept on talking and talking. I got angry. Why would she say i went to see some boy? Or Why would she say all that and think in that manner? Maybe its a mothers tongue. A general thing with mothers but I didn’t think there was any reason for her to react in that way. I told her who I was going to see and even told her the place. I communicated with her properly. Or so I thought. What had gone wrong in our communication? I asked.

    As a young woman, almost ten years later and I can see what went wrong with our communication and those things are the killers of communication. Having an effective communication is not just speaking out your thoughts & opinions. It is more about making sure that your words are clear & is properly understood by the other person. A clear and consise communication is the goal but with killers of communication present, it proves difficult to achieve effective communication.

    Which is why I’m going to be sharing with you these killers of communication with the hopes that it helps you make a difference from today.

    4 Killers Of Communication

    1. Fear

    Killers of communication like fear is what destroys effective communication from the mind, even before the conversation begins. The fear of how the other person would react to what you say, or how they would perceive things has stopped you from communicating properly. This fear can make you say something serious lightly, it can make you blabber thereby causing mockery & disregard.

    This fear can dampen your confidence. It can make you procrastinate; A conversation you were supposed to have with your boss concerning an urgent matter would be pushed till tomorrow because you’re scared that he/she would not see things from your point of view.

    1. Lack of details & specifics

    If I had told my mum that I was going to see a female friend and maybe even told her she was my classmate & that we went to the same school, then things would have ended differently. I hid a lot of basic details that would have made it more accepting and more understandable for her.

    Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.
    Fyodor Dostoevsky

    Lack of details and specifics are killers of communication that determine the outcome of any conversation you engage in. When communicating with someone, its important you be as open as possible because one missing detail that should foster that communication can dampen it negatively, even destroy your relationship with that person.

    1. Assumptions

    When Henry Winkler one of my best actors said; Assumptions are the termites of relationships. He wasn’t wrong.

    I hate this one oh. Human beings can assume. Ah! Some people can assume for Africa. Just wear something that shows your curves and endowments as a woman and the entire neighborhood would conclude you’re a runs girl. Sometimes I wonder if they enjoy it. In my scenario, my mum just assumed in her head that it was a man I was going to see and that created a picture that she stuck with.

    The bad thing about assumption is that; it is contrary to the truth, its not a fact and neither is it reality. Looks can be decieving. Don’t assume something that isn’t there. Listen to the other person’s story, the choice to believe it or not solely depends on you. Instead of assuming that they are lying, prove your theory with an evidence or else you’d end up ruining a persons self respect & integrity.

    1. Tone & Translations.

    Wrong usage of tone and words are killers of communication. How you may ask? I’ll indulge you.

    Apologizing to someone you hurt without any sign of remorse is an example of wrong translation. You may have said the right word “I’m sorry.” But how would the person forgive you if you don’t even feel any atom of regret for your actions. Sometimes its not what you say that is wrong but how you say it.

    Yet other times, you use the wrong languages; “Please get that for me bitch.” What nonsense? You are begging someone to get something for you and you’re calling the person bitch. Why don’t you get it yourself. For clear and effective communication, the right tone and words are super important.

    We are at a time where distance is a problem for families and couples to communicate, so communications are mostly done through mobile devices and social media platforms. Where your face can’t be seen, your choice of tone would go a long way. Use the right tone. Be warm, respectful and sure.

    Other killers of communication include jumping to conclusion which is similar to assumptions, beliefs, timing, anger etc.
    Henceforth, I hope these points would makes you make a difference in communicating.

    Did you learn anything? Or you’ve got more pints to share? Or a different experience that killed your communication with a friend or family? Please share in the comment.

    3 women’s story of pain, loss & friendship; read here