All this the girl child hears from men old enough to be her father even before she starts to walk. At age seven, she is carried on her uncle’s lap to reply to his hello. She walks into a shop with her mother, and men comment, “ such a beautiful girl.”
As a teenager, she is told to mind the way she carries herself. She tries to play soccer, and she is reminded that girls do not play soccer. “Don’t dress like that.” “You can’t go to that place.” “Why do you aspire to become an engineer? “ “Why don’t you become a doctor instead.”
I can go on and on; the list is endless. The girl child grows with the mindset that society needs her to be perfect. She thinks that to grow into a societal-accepted woman, she must adhere to all these conditions.
The truth is that, the voices never stop. I am a grown woman now, and whenever I walk in, the voices are rising.
“Who is funding her?” “She couldn’t have done this on her own” “Why is she dressed like that?”
At work, the girl child is constantly pushed,
“You can’t handle this role.” “Focus on the family for now and forget about a promotion.” “Don’t be greedy; women raise homes, not houses.”
Another day, we’ll talk about the pressures that society placed on a single successful woman. “Oh, she needs to find a man.” “Her clock is ticking.” “Someone needs to tell her to reduce her age and stop driving expensive cars?
You start to wonder at some point, when does it end? Even if you stick to the clock. Graduate with no hassle, get married, and raise a family; you still get to hear the voices.
“Her stomach is big, oh.” “Is she not done having kids?” “Wow, she has only girls.”
Let’s allow women to be women. If she wants to get a Ph.D. let her If she wants to buy properties, let her. If she doesn’t want to have children, it is no anyone’s business.
Every day as women, we have to dust off strong painful words and opinions. They call us strong women, hard women, as if a woman is unbreakable, untouchable, and irreplaceable. Put an end to it, to the women out there who say these things to their fellow women. Let us take a bold step for change on this day- The international Day of a girl child.
The girl child is to be treasured and supported. According to the united nations achieving gender equality and women empowerment is integral to building a nation. That is why we celebrate the girl child annually on October 11th.
Living a stress free life in 2021 is on everyone’s wishlist right now.
I mean, I crave it.
I hate having to eat only crackers the whole day because I’m too stressed from work to cook. I hate having to see my mom on some days because she is too stressed to chit chat.
So yeah, I haven’t seen anyone who likes stress, or enjoys been stressed.
I’ve seen some of my friends who have been so bitchy and unapproachable because of stress. Some are disgusted with their work, not because it’s too hot to handle, but because their clients are embodied with stress; they carry stress like a fragrance to choke anyone who attends to them.
Its 2021 and I wish I am leaping for joy, but no, its been a hard year and I’m pretty sure I’m speaking everybody’s mind here. You’d have to work tripple times harder to get results. The economy is a mess. The insecurity is alarming. Its harder for students to study with pressure, work, and challenges. Its hard for parents to provide for their families. Its hard for youths to live freely.
So freaky yeah! Everyone is stressed. You’re stressed, I’m stressed, even though we hate to admit it because, we’ve normalized stress, but your heart knows the truth.
You have accepted that stress is the order of the day. To put food on the table you have to be stressed. To pay your bills and fend for yourself you have to be stressed. To build your carreer you have to be stressed. So living a stress free life has become a myth for you. Living a stress free life has become nonsense in a country like ours.
Which is why I’m telling you that, its not a myth. There’s nothing good about stress.
Cottonbro – Pexel
Is Living a Stress Free Life Possible?.
Yes!
It is possible.
In the past I’d have said No, but now I know better. Living a stress free life is truly possible.
Stress is simply applying force or pressure to both your internal and external body which causes strain and deformation.
So it is possible to live your life without applying pressure, and force so much so that it could hurt you.
It is possible to not pressure yourself. It is possible to not carry so much stress in your hand bag. It is also possible to not be stressed mentally and physically.
Living a stress free life is achievable and I’ll show you how.
You want that don’t you?
Anna Sheets – Pexel
How to Live a Stress Free Life in 2021
Living a stress free life is not living a perfect life. Living a stress free life is simply finding ways to reduce, manage, eliminate stress, and incorporating it into your lifestyle. And you can do that by doing the following;
Examining your life
Have you ever been in a room where someone just emanates stressful energy? How did you feel? I bet you were so pissed that you couldn’t wait for the person to leave.
Now what if the person with the stressful energy is you? Have you thought about that?
That is where examininig your life comes in. You have to examine how people react when you are around, how they react when you leave the room, if they include you in important conversations or if they ask you for assistance. This would ensure to know your stress level, and how much that stress have affected others negatively. From there on, you’d know how to tackle it.
Simplifying your life.
In living a stress free life you must first remove stress by simplifying your life. You do that by taking away anything that may impose pressure and cause stress.
For instance, if you know that there’s always traffic every morning on your way to work, and you know a shorter, free and accessible road you can use, but still go a head to follow the traffic jam road, then you’re increasing your stress level by making things difficult for you.
Setting boundaries
To live a stress free life you must set boundaries. You wouldn’t be the person that allow any jargon to trample on your mental health, or allow anybody to project their frustrations on you. Set work boundaries by not accepting jobs that would stress your blood away, or accept jobs overtime when you should be relaxing at home simply because your boss asked.
Set relationship boundaries that seperates you from toxic people, or friends that dampen your self esteem. Set family boundaries that doesn’t allow your parents make decisions concerning your life, or allow traditional mentality hoard your freedom. To start living a stress free life, setting boundaries can eliminate stress entirely.
Self care/Self love
This body of yours is a work of art. It is not a machine that should be pushed over. You are not a pushover. Your body can shutdown from strain at anytime, and when it does, I don’t think you’d be able to forgive yourself for allowing it get to that point.
Take proper care of your physical body. Eat properly, (sarmlife.com dinner food plan is super helpful) spoil yourself, pamper yourself, take breaks occasionally, and watch how those crankiness, and stress muscles, fade away.
Alex Green – Pexel
At the end of the day, know that, it is not stress that puts food on the table, it is work. Its called hard work, not stress work. You can work hard and not be stressed. I’m not saying you’d never be stressed. No. I’m simply asking that your priority should be, to consciously not increase your stress level or mount pressure on your self. Eliminating stress should be your ultimate focus as you go live your life.
I write this letter in angry tears…in fact, this lemon top of mine is been scarred with dry wasted tears even as I write this.
Those piercing words you’ve probably heard before, I heard again last night, and its echoes replaying in my tiny little head brought these uncontrollable angry tears.
I write this to hide it in my drawer but I’m hoping it gets to you. Wishing that my tears would embrace yours. Praying that these angry tears would stop flowing, but I can’t control it. So just for today, I’m letting it flow.
The voice of rejection. The voice of selfishness That same voice that tells me to my face that I was taken for granted. I experienced.
Have you experienced this? Did you feel the way I’m feeling now? The pain that transitions to anger.
You may have also received that blow of disregard. You may have also received that punch of abandonment. You may have also faced that look of wickedness. You may have also been shocked by the striking reality that you were nothing to them. You may have also felt used and alone. It may have saddened you that they couldn’t stand up for you. You may have also been helpless as a result. You may have also cried till there was no more tears. You may have also felt weak like I am feeling now.
How did you move on?
Oh wait! I’m not done…
How could I forget the plea!
The plea for support. Pleading to dry my biting angry tears. Begging for a tiny bit of understanding. Crying for help. Holding on just to experience a little warmth. Just waiting for a show of reverence.
Yet nothing. Absolute coldness was what I got. A blow on the face.
Do you understand? Oh, hold on! Don’t tell me you understand.
Just tell me you will never be in the giving end of that punch.
Promise me you would let it be. Promise me you’ll fight and cry just as I am, and let go. Promise me that, as hard as moving on sounds, you’d try. Promise me you would not care about the pain you received and give back only love. Promise me that this painful and angry tears would not be avenged.
As sad as all this has been, and after reading the scriptures to get me through bad days, I’m reminded yet again, to hold on to the few who has stuck it out with me. And my tears increase. Not angry tears, but warm tears that fill my heart with love.
The ones who have held you down till this day, have you told them how invaluable they are to you?
Your actions everyday should express your love for them. To not take them for granted nor abandon them the way some others did, but to hold on to them.
Will You?
Dear you, Finally, I’m remembering this angry tears as my will to live and love. Let yours be the same for you.
