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  • BITTER KOLA

    “Get me that box Ada”, he screamed at her ” Are you listening to me? and be fast about it”. It was too early to be screaming at the top if the voice especially when it’s still five am in the morning. Groaning, Ada woke up grudgingly as she stood up from the floor she slept at. She dreaded hearing his voice first thing in the morning when she knew what bringing that box meant. That box contained his consolation, his companion, his solace, the only thing he loved having was inside that box but it was also the thing that constantly made his life miserable. She hated giving him that box but who was she to refuse him. He was her father and he adored him no matter what he has become and moreover , she was too scared to disobey him or keep him away from his daily companion so she willingly brought him the box every morning; at the dawn of each day.
    “Papa I’m here, take it”, she dropped the box on the table in front of her father.
    ” I’m I supposed to tell you what to do…go ahead and do what you always do”, he said as he looked at her sternly. She sat down at the corner, opened the box, brought out the bottle and the nuts. She quickly ran inside, got a side plate and a little glass cup. She sat back down and started peeling the back of the nuts, it was a bitter kola.

    Anyone seeing her at that time would laugh out loud obviously finding it hilarious. Instead of praying or reading the newspaper at five am she was busing peeling the back of a bitter kola for her father. She chuckled at the mere thought of it and her father stared at her.
    “What’s funny?” he asked
    “Nothing papa” she replied still smiling.
    The truth was nothing was funny about their situation. She peeled about a several bitter kola and poured the Gin into a glass cup and handed it over to him. He quickly took a bite and sighed in relief as he kept on chewing it and drinking. He was clearly enjoying himself. Ada just sat there and stared at him. She couldn’t believe this was the man that was once her hero, her idol and her pillar. It was every girls dream to have a father like hers but now she was not so sure anymore. She couldn’t recognize him again, he was far from the man she once knew. She looked inside the box and saw everything she was already familiar with; the bitter kola of different shapes and sizes too numerous to count because she always stocked it up for him, the little bottles of white jin, bitter alcohol and bitter liquid herbs. Ever since he lost everything to the hands of frauds and con artists, he lost his ego and identity and he blamed it on his ill fate. His hard work, tears and sweat of twenty years was all down the drain. He lost his will to move on, he just couldn’t. it was like he took a part of him, a part that made him a man and shoved it to the dogs. After that he thought he wouldn’t be able to strive but mother was there to console him, to rub his back and to listen to his cries and wails but when mother died a year later to an illness that was never diagnosed he lost his strength. If there was any little zeal or hope left in him before it was all gone the minute mum was put to the ground. He became silent and still like a river without waves or storms. We couldn’t survive it; especially my little sister Amanda who made everyone laugh at three. Even in papa’s silence she made his eyes lit up with her giggles, play and mischievousness, but when we lost her to stomach infection and malnutrition papa lost his joy. He lost the only thing that filled his life with happiness. That was when it all started. He couldn’t face anyone anymore. He snapped at everything and everyone, he started drinking and drinking heavily. My older brother left to work, to provide for us and escape from the negativity surrounding our father.

    The last straw was when he started eating bitter kola, it was funny at first but when he accompanied it with every bitter thing he could lay his eyes on that was when I wept for him. I knew every time he tasted it he wanted to remind himself of how bitter his life had become, how life had presented us not with a sweet candy but a bitter kola. It reminded him to be hateful, to be resentful of living read herethis site, of hoping and of believing. It became a drug he was addicted to. He walked with bitter kola in his mouth and trouser pocket and now he even took it first thing in the morning and got drunk till he forgot everything, every pain and every memory haunting him.
    Now he talked, he smiled but he was like a desert without water. He refused happiness, he refused success, he only wanted pain because that us what life had thrown at him.
    Looking at him now she wished she could tell him that she’s right here for him, that how can he stop caring when his son and daughter are still alive. That we are the living proof that not everything is lost. That its not over but only beginning.
    “Dad”, she called finally, tired of watching him soak himself in bitterness and drunkenness.
    ” What is it?”, he replied nonchalantly.
    “Aren’t you tired of this? tired of constantly living this way. There’s still hope you know… please don’t give up…and start believing…I promise i’ll help you…please”, she begged as tears dropped from her eyes.
    He simply stared at her too shocked to say anything and clearly sad to see his daughter cry in front of him knowing he was the reason for those tears. The truth is, he was tired but he didn’t know how to move on.
    ” You will never understand Ada so take this box and keep it inside. I’m done!”, he said firmly, walked back inside and shut the door.
    She just stared at the ugly box and shook her head making a mental note to throw away the content of the box during the day. Enough is Enough! she would accept any punishment he gave her but she would not allow him to continue to live this way.
    She prayed silently for him that he would come out of this long overdue grief and come out on top. That even those in the world like him would conquer the terror of pain and suffering and come out victorious by tasting the sweet part of life not the bitter part.

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  • The little boys letter

    I was at my desk that morning when she came over and asked with a grin on her face “What do you think you’re writing? I’m sure you’re writing a love letter to him”. I laughed out loud and wondered which ‘him’. it was then I remembered years ago when letters were the best art of communication especially when we wrote letters to our crush or our secret admirers anonymously. It was through letters loved ones communicated , it was through letters the opposite sex revealed their feelings to each other and probably fixed a date through letters too. So I thought of what would it feel like to write a letter to God, not a letter to my lover, boyfriend or admirer but to God himself even though I knew God isn’t a human being that could just grab the letter wear his glasses and read it out loud, but I knew he could see it, feel its content and express himself in his glory. The problem was I had already written a letter to him four years earlier which I shared in Facebook not too long ago, where I revealed my intimacy with him. ” Oh” I said to myself smiling as I recalled a letter I received from a little boy. He said if God was sitting with him at home this was what he wanted to tell him so he handed over the letter to me and asked me to read it. I want to share this letter with you too.

    letter content

    ” Lord I thank you for my life for making me to see January to this new month November. for the sleeping and waking up, provision. I am grateful. even for the going out and coming in, for going to school, for Divine protection. Thank you for forgiving my sins father the ones I haven’t said take over them.
    Lord I thank you for my family life and for making them to see January to November for their sleeping and waking up, provision, shelter. I am so grateful. Give them grace to train me and my siblings thank you for Mmesoma, Ikechukwu, my mum, my dad. may your name be glorify.
    Thank you for my relatives. My friends father. Give my neighbors money to go back to school, feed them well. even as we are going to bed Father takeover the night… forgive all our sins.
    Father in this prayer anyone I haven’t said take over commit them into your hands in Jesus name I pray. Amen”.

    What it revealed was beyond my expectation. I expected to hear “God please give my daddy plenty money to buy new toys and games for me” or “God help me take first position in my class”. But the words he wrote got me dumbfounded. His very heart was the spirit of thanksgiving, protection and selfless provision. As adults we always know its important to say I’m sorry, Please and Thank you in everything we do. But this child displaying his heart and wish selflessly was pleasing.
    Firstly, his every word was to say thank you not for the little things he wanted from a God he knew can give him everything but for the things he already had; his little brother, sister and parents.
    Secondly, he was happy to be back at school but he was also sad because his friends and neighbors hadn’t gone back to school yet because of no finance. For that he wanted God to provide for them to do so.

    Thirdly, his words of protection was directed to protect everyone around him that was why his last sentence was what took my breath away “Father in this prayer anyone I haven’t say takeover, commit them into your hands…” These words was like an extra covering for all those he forgot to mention which proved that his innocence, sensitivity and character was humbling.

    After reading this letter I remembered my early key quote “sometimes when you expect too much you get disappointed but when say thanks you get much more”. I figured out that the best ways to approach God was with a prayer like this. I want to see the world with a grateful and a selfless heart like this little one. I hope you do so too after all Philippians 4:6 said it all ” Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayers and supplication with thanksgiving make your request known to God”.

    PS – the blury area is there to protect the writers confidence.

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  • Attacked

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    She kept walking fast almost running, every hair on her body stood in fear as she couldn’t bear looking back. It was dark, too dark to be out alone but she closed late and had no choice but to go home only now she couldn’t because she felt someone was following her. Hearing the thick steps he took towards her made her head spin. She tried looking back and saw his shadow behind her, fear overwhelmed her so she screamed and ran. She didn’t know where she was running to, all she knew was that she had to escape. Thankfully she saw a sharp bend and ran towards it for her dear life.

    *   *   *

    His scattered brown teeth shone as he laughed at his victim. He was having so much fun following her and scaring the shit out of her. It was easier to just grab them and slice their throat with his knife but that was no fun. He liked creating fear in them. He wanted to see the expression of my-life-is-almost-over on their faces. So he always chased them like a shadow. He was a professional killer and that’s why people hired him . This particular job determined his life. If he loses this one job the boss would personally kill him, so winning was a must; winning meant the girl must die.

    He laughed at her as he followed her to the bent road he saw her run into. He brought out his knife in readiness to kill her but when he turned he didn’t see her. In frustration he shouted and began searching every corner of the road but all to no avail. He kept searching for hours but never found her.

    *   *   *                                           What he didn’t know was that  when she ran into the the bent road she entered a junk yard and when she looked around it turned out she was surrounded with all sorts of condemned cars and parts, scraps, useless and dirty items. She quickly went on top not bothering if she may get injured, she bent at the corner of a junk car and hid there.

    *     *     *

    He couldn’t face his boss now with a failed mission and he couldn’t let anyone kill him either. Instead he went to the bridge, stood at the edge of the bridge looked over the river and pushed himself into the river. While he fell he took out his knife and sliced his throat. Blood stained the surface of the water as his dead body feel deep into the river.

    *    *    *

    What she didn’t know was that her attacker was dead and she was safe. She didn’t dare take a step out of her hiding place because she was still scared to death. So she remained there fearing her life.

    psalm 54:3-5. “Arrogant foes are attacking me, ruthless people are trying to kill me….Let evil recoil on those who attack me, in your faithfulness destroy them”.

    *That’s what happens when they come after you. They die at their own hands*