Do you believe failure is not your enemy? Yet, how I failed at almost everything still baffles me today. *shakes head laughing* Well, read further to find out.
I joined secondary school in September 2004 and earlier the same year, Facebook was launched. It was a rave then unknown to us because we were just kids not knowledgeable about the internet. So the next year in JSS2 we were asked to come into the computer lab for computer science practical studies.
This time we were introduced to Microsoft Word, and at the time I remember my classmate Uchechi coming back to gist us about how she opened a new Facebook account. My God!
She did not stop talking about it. *haha* Suddenly everyone wanted to have a Facebook account. So during free periods when the computer lab was open, we would go in, sit on the desktop and create an account. That was how I created my Facebook account.
While creating the account I remember that there was a session that required me to write a quote or statement. Guess what I put in?
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Even at that age, I recognized I was failing at a lot of things but I was still relaxed about it.
I failed in School
If you asked of one of the most popular girls in school back then, you’d find my name on the list.
If you asked of one of the most fun girls, you’d find my name on the list
If you asked one of the girls with great vibes, you’d find my name there.
If you asked of one of the most brilliant girls, you’d most likely find my name at the bottom of the list. *laughs*
I never had good grades in school. I was good in particular subjects like English, Government and Literature in English. But when you try scoring all subjects together, you’d laugh at my failure.
I think my best position in school was 7th. I never went above 7th in school. (I can’t stop laughing as I type this) And I never hid it. I remember how I and my friend Chidinma Dim used to laugh at my result. She would finish me, I would finish her, we’ll laugh at each other and I’d go back to being the Chika that I was regardless of my failures.
Having the 17th, 19th, 25th, and 27th position almost every time in school out of forty to forty-five students wasn’t something to be proud of. I remember not liking it. But I also remember how trying to assimilate physics or chemistry, mathematics, or French wasn’t working.
There was no magic or reading that was going to make further mathematics enter my head so I always knew I would fail. And I did.
So I retired to enjoy the accolades I got from English & government and embraced the failures of others.
In the university, I wasted my 100 level in the hopes that I’d get my dream course in Law. By the time I realized that wasn’t going to work, I was already in 200 level. So I had two years to make up for everything and at least don’t fail. I studied hard by the normal definition of studying hard and still, I did not graduate with the best result.
I failed in Adulthood
One would have thought that because of my great survival instinct, I would have been conquering the world and making big moves. The only thing that was moving in my life was debit alert, rejection, grief, and unexpectations.
At one point I was swimming in a pool of rejections that resulted in self-doubt and self-embarrassment.
At the other point, I was drowning in grief and darkness. Mourning one death after the other and detaching myself from others because of the fear that no one would be safe around me.
More times than I remember, I sunk in bad decisions. Was it my inability to choose for myself? Or was it my incapability to choose what was right? Or was it my lean towards choosing what everyone thought was right for me? I had no idea at the time but I was sinking in making decisions that turned my life for the worse.
I failed at everything but won big in the end.
How?
Because I accepted that failure is all part of the puzzle. That failure is not your enemy.
So I’m sorry if you were expecting a miraculous success story reading this article.
This is not a success story. This is a failure story.
Failure is not your Enemy
In a family of two, the one who is always getting good grades gets more love than the one who is busy fixing toys and unused cables.
The one who is a hot shot at a law firm is more respected and has a special seat at the dinner table than the one who is selling thrift and the market and doing all the house chores.
The child who fails is ignored but the one who passes is applauded. Failure is not your enemy. It is the society that sees failure as a disease that is the enemy.
No one starts something with the intention of failing. Failure is an unexpected event that just happens in the course of trying something.
But here is the beauty of failure.
“Failure is not always a mistake. It may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.”
She keeps failing because she keeps trying
He keeps failing because he never stops trying
Failure says – I don’t know if I am going to be the best, I don’t know if I am simply just embarrassing myself, but I am going to do it again because I can.
Failure says – Even if yesterday was terrible I am going to try again today because not trying is the worst.
You are delusional if you think you would never fail at something. You are even more delusional if you think that failure is your enemy.
Accepting failure is your first chance to do something different, try something new, make progress toward your goals, and become successful at something.
My failures make me stronger.
My failures make me crazier
My failures make me bolder
Some people fail and then crawl into a corner. Others fail and they become quiet. It shouldn’t be so, darling.
Your failures should be your encouragement, not your demon. Your failures should be your light, not your darkness. Your failures should be your strength, not your weakness. Yet, you allow people to threaten you with your failures, you allow them to manipulate you with your failures, you allow them to blackmail you with your failures, and you allow them to decide who you are because of your failures.
You’ve turned failure into a burning so deep into your skin that you shiver at the mere thought of it when in reality, failure is not your enemy.
Let me tell you a short story, every time I fail, I double my energy. Every time I get a rejection email, I send five more emails shooting my shot. I tell a friend that I lost today, I tell someone that I failed today because it is nothing to be repelled by.
Be unapologetically open to talk about your failure.
Be unashamed about your failures as a person, a daughter, a friend, a lover, a colleague, or a wife.
Fail!
Accept!
Adjust!
Then watch yourself win…even with an incalculable amount of recorded failures.
“Will AI replace human writers?” 1,000+ AI tools released. What is the fate of Human Writers?
Imagine my reaction when I found out in March alone that 1000 AI tools were released. I was spellbound! As a writer myself, my first thought was “What is the fate of human writers? Will AI replace human writers much sooner than I thought?” I now know the answers to these questions but at the time I wasn’t very sure.
Before March, the new wave of AI crept in slowly, shaking the world of creativity and threatening the resolve of writers at its core with the introduction of Chat GPT; a new chat artificial intelligence that responds to questions. To date, I’ve used Chat GPT just thrice. The first time was after I created my account and wanted to test it, the second time I wanted to test its ability to give accurate facts to history and political
happenings. And the third time was in the course of writing this content. (you’d see why as you read along *winks*) Before Chat GTP, I’ve used copyai a couple of times to rewrite introductions when updating a client’s old SEO blog posts.
As someone that has been writing for almost a decade, is authentic in her writing, and is a sucker for originality and storytelling, you can imagine my face when I heard of the new AI. I was instantly frightened. And I abhorred the thought of AI writing content. ‘Will AI replace human writers?’ the thought never left my head.
But now, I realize that I have no reason to be terrified because — AI is just a tool. Not just any tool, but an intelligent time-saving, sexy tool. Yes, it’s sexy. “Haha”
AI Is a Tool
AI tool is a software application that uses artificial intelligence algorithms to perform specific tasks and solve problems. As a tool it can be used in a variety of industries, from healthcare and finance to marketing and education, to automate tasks, generate content, analyze data, generate ideas, and improve decision-making.
AI tools can be used to automate tasks, analyze data, and make predictions based on patterns and trends, leading to increased efficiency and accuracy. These AI tools work by analyzing data and making decisions based on patterns and trends in data, using machine learning algorithms.
Just like a handyman needs his tools to fix things around the house. Or a carpenter needs his screwdriver to drill a nail into the wall.
Humans need tools to assist them in their day-to-day lives. Sometimes you need help with inputting millions of data into a system. And one person doing that can be draining and time-consuming. (it could take years) but with Artificial intelligence, computing such data can take give and take; an hour. Crazy right?
Now wait for the best part.
Even after Artificial intelligence inputs millions of data in 30 minutes, it still won’t be done accurately. This is why, it would need a human touch to fact-check it and brush it up. Making sure everything is in order. The same applies to writing
How Does an AI Writing Tool work?
AI writing tools scan existing content on the web and gather data based on the instructions given by users. They then process data and bring out fresh content as output. The AI writing tools are assistants trained to help. To supplement your writing process.
AI writing assistants are trained with varying forms of real-life data. As they learn from the given data, they improve at producing natural-sounding output. Since AI tools receive data from human beings, the generated output also turns out to be human-like.
And because they are not new human content, these contents aren’t perfect. At the end of the day, the finished output still requires heavy editing (from a human) to make sense to a reader and to fact-check what’s written and establish an emotional connection.
AI is nothing more than a tool. A virtual assistant to a badass human.
How can AI Help Writers
AI can assist writers in various ways, enhancing their creativity, productivity, and overall writing process. Here are several ways in which AI can be helpful:
Writing Assistance
AI can provide real-time suggestions and corrections for grammar, spelling, and style, helping writers improve the quality of their writing. Tools like Grammarly and ProWritingAid employ AI algorithms to offer suggestions for sentence structure, word choice, and overall clarity.
Idea Generation
Sometimes it’s difficult coming up with new ideas for your next content. AI can help writers generate new ideas and overcome writer’s block. Natural language processing models can analyze vast amounts of text to identify patterns and generate suggestions for storylines, characters, or even specific details within a story.
AI-powered translation tools can help writers reach a broader audience by translating their works into different languages. These tools use machine learning algorithms to provide accurate translations and can save writers time and effort when targeting international readership.
Content Creation
AI can generate content based on given prompts or specific criteria. It can be useful for producing blog posts, news articles, or other types of content that require extensive research or data analysis. However, it’s important to note that AI-generated content should be reviewed and edited by human writers to ensure accuracy and coherence.
Editing and Proofreading
AI can be employed to identify errors and inconsistencies in a written piece. Automated editing tools can detect spelling mistakes, grammar errors, and even offer suggestions to improve sentence structure. While they can be helpful, human editing is still crucial to capture the nuances and context-specific aspects of a written work.
Research Assistance
AI-powered tools can assist writers in gathering information, conducting research, and fact-checking. By analyzing vast databases and online sources, AI can provide writers with relevant and up-to-date information on various topics, saving them time and effort.
Personalized Writing Coach
AI can act as a virtual writing coach, providing feedback and suggestions to improve writing skills. Some applications offer personalized recommendations based on individual writing styles and goals, helping writers refine their craft.
OpenAI’s GPT-3 (Generative Pre-trained Transformer 3) model is a highly advanced language model that can generate human-like text based on prompts. It can be used for various writing tasks, including content generation, language translation, and more.
Best for copywriting. Copyai helps eliminate writer’s block with its many automated creativity tools. It also offers a wide range of AI-created templates to help you get started on your project. You can simply drop a word and it would write a copy. It can also rewrite your copies. CopyAI now has a long-form document editor, which allows you to work on your ideas all in one place. CopyAI’s product description workflow gives you helpful AI content-writing tips and ideas.
Grammarly is a widely used AI-powered tool that helps writers improve their grammar, spelling, punctuation, and writing style. It offers suggestions and corrections in real-time, making it a valuable tool for writers looking to enhance the quality of their writing.
With Jasper AI you can create your blogs, articles, book, scripts, and any other content. Choose a subject area and form, fill in the details, and Jasper will write the content for you. It’s not the best content, but it helps to ease off your writer’s block.
Copyscape is an online plagiarism detection tool that helps writers and content creators identify instances of content duplication or plagiarism. It compares your text against a vast database of online content to check for similarities.
ProWritingAid is an AI-based writing assistant that offers comprehensive grammar and style checking, along with suggestions for improving readability, vocabulary, and sentence structure. It provides detailed reports and analysis to help writers enhance their overall writing skills.
The Hemingway Editor is an AI writing tool that focuses on improving the readability and clarity of your text. It highlights complex sentences, excessive use of adverbs, and passive voice to help you simplify your writing and make it more engaging.
Rytr is good with document editing. It has the closest thing to Jasper’s long-form assistant with their on-document edits. You can select a piece of text, and use plenty of tools to rephrase it, check it for grammar, or even shorten it. Just like the best AI writing software, Rytr uses GPT-3 to power its writing software. And it is very affordable.
Quillbot is an AI paraphrasing tool that can rewrite sentences and paragraphs while preserving the original meaning. It can be helpful for writers looking to rephrase or expand their writing while maintaining coherence.
Article Forge is an AI content generator that automatically writes articles on a given topic. It uses advanced natural language processing algorithms to generate unique, high-quality content.
It’s important to note that the AI writing tools landscape is rapidly evolving so I can’t keep up with the new tools that are dropping. I recommend researching and exploring the latest offerings to find the best AI writing tool that suits your specific needs.
Will AI replace Human Writers?
With 1000+ AI tools being released, asking if human writers can be replaced by AI is a valid question. It’s an honest question that comes from being terrified of the future and the place writers stand knowing how efficient these AI tools can be.
The question is “Will AI replace human writers?”
My Answer remains “No, AI cannot replace Human Writers” Here’s why:
Even AI says it can’t replace humans
“Haha” funny right? It’s true. Artificial intelligence itself knows that it can’t replace humans. Remember when I said I used AI for the third time, it was while writing this post. I asked Chat GTP a question, “Will AI replace human Writers?” Here’s what it said.
“The potential for AI to replace human writers is a topic of much debate and speculation. While AI has made significant advancements in generating text and assisting with certain writing tasks, it is unlikely that AI will completely replace human writers in the foreseeable future.”
AI is created by a human
AI is an impossibility since humans are the creators. Humans develop AI. AI cannot be more intelligent than humans. It only uses the power we give it. It ends where we say end, and starts when we say starts. We have the control button and decide how far we want it to go. It can’t replace the one who made it.
It has no real human experience
Remember that AI work by analyzing data and making decisions based on patterns and trends in data, using machine learning algorithms. So they have no experience. None! They only work based on what data had been fed to the machine. It doesn’t matter how many experiences people have had, if the data isn’t there then it’s as good as useless to your problem.
It hasn’t experienced writer’s block, rejection, imposter syndrome, low self-esteem, loss, grief, heartbreak, war, disease, kindness, love, peace, traveling, eating, using products, etc. It only has facts to give you on these matters but no experience with the human touch. But as a writer, you have all the experience, you’ve got the human touch, which is why your words are real and divine because you are human and you are living the experience every day.
AI has no in-depth creativity and storytelling
AI cannot think outside the box. It can’t create a marketing copy that would make your target audience empty their pockets with just about anything. Its text-based words cannot relate to your story. It does not have the power to make the magic you make with words. The creativity to mix humor, darkness and cockiness in a single line and make your readers burst out laughing or have them wide-eyed in awe can only be done by a human not an artificial intelligence. You have the creativity and only you as a human writer can tell the story on a much deeper level.
AI Lacks Emotional Intelligence and Empathy
AI cannot connect with you. It can’t feel, it can’t understand you and emphasize with you. If it can’t understand the reader or connect with the reader, how then can it have the power to write something emotionally thought-provoking for the reader? It doesn’t. You carry the heart and soul, so only you can wield its power in your words.
But Hey, don’t be so relaxed!
AI may be artificial and lack the originality, creativity and emotions of a human but it doesn’t make it less intelligent. Even if the answer to “Will AI replace human writers?” is ‘No’ it doesn’t mean writers should be casual about it.
AI is an Intelligent body capable of learning.
So, it can replace you. It just depends on which human you are.
What is the fate of Human Writers?
The fate of writers remains that, “Writers must never lose their human touch.”
AI has no stance with you. You are the magic. Your imagination, thinking, creativity, and writing skills have given the world the best content ever to exist. AI can’t compete with that. Without you, no content in the world will exist.
Your favorite movie won’t exist
Your favorite TV show won’t be LIVE
Your favorite novels won’t be in existence.
The best educational & business books won’t exist
Kids won’t have any children’s books or cartoons to watch.
That in-depth fire research material or white paper won’t exist.
Your favorite advert won’t sell.
And your favorite video won’t be here.
The fact that content is available for everyone’s consumption is all thanks to you. So don’t be threatened by AI.
“AI is an assistant, not a substitute”
You should only use it as a tool and not a replacement. Writers should continue to improve their writing skills and never lose touch with that uniqueness and authenticity.
“Embrace the tool but hone your skill, feed your creativity, and improve your experience.”
If you give it the power to replace you then it will.
AI can serve as a valuable tool to assist and enhance the writing process. AI-powered tools can help with tasks like grammar and spell-checking, generating topic ideas, suggesting improvements, or even providing basic drafts. These tools can augment human creativity and productivity, enabling writers to focus on higher-level aspects of their work.
AI can be a valuable tool for writers, it should not replace the creativity, originality, and unique voice that human writers bring to their work.
It’s important to note that even with new AI tools coming every day, they are not here to take your place. And your fate as a writer is assured.
Keep writing!
How do you feel about AI writing content? Have you used any AI to write, what was your experience? Has this content cleared your concern on “will AI replace human writers?”
The harsh reality of breakups is that breakups are painful. If you thought breakups were just heart-wrenching, then nothing would prepare you for how unbearable and depressing they are. That’s the harsh reality of breakups that should be made known to you.
It’s not like breaking one bad egg into a bowl of eggs. It’s not like mistakenly deleting a perfect piece of work just because you were clearing your phone storage.
It’s more like expecting your beautifully made wedding cake on your wedding day, only to receive a call that the cake arrived at the reception venue, but a kid was running and kicked it to the ground. Picture that? Yeah, Breakups are more like that. Heart-Wrenching! Agonizing! Painful! Dreadful! Awful!
Breaking news! No matter how friendly the relationship ended, or how agreeable both parties were, nothing stops it from being Painful!
John stared at her painfully. Expecting her to say something but she was in shock. He could handle her crazy but not her silence.
“Babe, say something,” he pleaded. Joan stared at him too furious to speak, too hurt to mutter a word. Before John could move an inch, she suddenly bent and removed her shoes, and dropped her handbag to the floor.
“Babe, what are you…” he couldn’t finish his question when he felt the pain in his stomach. She threw her shoes at him.
“Joan, stop that!” she threw her handbag at him.
Tears fell from her eyes, “Why would you end things? Did I ever do anything to hurt you?” She grabbed her bunch of keys and threw them at him. There was nothing else to throw as she fell to the chair and sat quietly. Breathing profusely. She lifted her head and saw that people were watching them. They were at the park.
John joined her on the chair, “I’m so sorry.” he grabbed her hand and kissed it quietly. She looked at him and the tears couldn’t stop. This was the man she loved, the man who loved her.
“Book me a ride. I need to go home.” And that was the last word she said.
Who Hurts More After A Breakup
The experience of pain after a breakup can vary greatly from person to person and is not solely dependent on gender. The harsh reality of breakups is that both men and women can experience intense emotional pain after a breakup. The level of hurt can be influenced by various factors, such as the depth of the relationship, loss of communication, individual coping mechanisms, support systems, and personal circumstances.
It’s important to remember that each person’s emotional resilience and ability to cope with heartbreak differ. Some individuals may express their pain more outwardly, while others may internalize it. Factors such as societal expectations, cultural upbringing, and individual personality traits can also play a role in how one processes and expresses the pain of a breakup.
“Gender doesn’t determine pain.”
Regardless of gender, it is essential for individuals going through a breakup to prioritize self-care, seek support from friends, family, or professionals if needed, and allow themselves time to heal and recover. Read further to see the harsh reality of breakups you should be aware of.
What Are The Harsh Reality Of Breakups No One Told You?
The shock/Denial
It hits you like a bolt of lightning on a sunny day. You can’t believe your ears. “No” You laugh out loud hoping it’s a joke. But their silence tells you otherwise. Their sad eyes tell you otherwise. Yet, you shake your head in disbelief. Hysterically you try to find the words but there are none. Unfortunately, their minds have been made, and dragging it out would feel more painful so you hide in silence. Left to wonder, left to believe or not, left to say goodbyes.
The Pain
Then the pain hits you. Like a saw slicing through wet woods, it cuts deep into your heart and you find yourself rubbing your chest tightly. Their words replay in your head and reality sinks in. “So, this is the end?” “Is this truly the end?”
Wailing and screaming in pain, like your world cursing down on you. Nothing else matters, only your pain. Only staying faithful to your sorrows.
Those uncontrollable tears run down your cheeks. The picture of her laughter tackles four imaginations, the scent of his shirt itches at your nostrils, so you scream an earth-shattering scream. “No” “Why God? ” What do I do.”
The pain becomes unbearable leaving you weak, shaky, and bound to grief.
Anger
All of a sudden you’re angry. Angry at your fate. Love played a cruel joke on you and you want to yell at it.
Angry for letting yourself fall in love again. Angry at letting her affect you so much. Angry at her for letting go. Suddenly, you hate him for not fighting for what you both had. You hate him for not protecting your love and dreams. You despise him for not holding on.
The Confusion
The conflict of what is and what isn’t.
Your pain conflicts with your anger, memories, and action. You wish you won’t remember the good times, yet you wish to remain in this pain forever. You listen to sad songs to elevate your pain, yet you smile in public.
You watch sad movies to make you cry, yet you hide your pain from everybody else. You wish you could talk to someone about it, but you also don’t want anyone to know. You cherish the memories you shared, yet you don’t know if you can delete the pictures.
The Loss
We not only mourn the dead but also mourn the living.
At this point, you’re in anguish. The pain wasn’t breaking up but what the loss of breaking up is — the disappearance of that person from your life. How do you stop talking to the person that made every day worthwhile? How do you never see the person that made you happy? How do you go from being the most important person in their lives to being a total stranger?
You count your losses and they are much bigger than you could bear. How do you handle living your life without them? What about the future you dreamt of together?
All gone! With a simple sentence! The reality of this realization is the worst of them all.
The Guilt
Then you blame yourself. Maybe I should have held on to him. Maybe I should have begged her for months. Maybe I should have dragged it out. Maybe I should be so real.
You blame your love for being weak. You weep for the love you thought was strong enough to defy all odds.
Acceptance/Goodbyes
In all of your pain, you think about her every day. Your mind is full of his thoughts. You worry if he has eaten. You worry if life is good to him. You wish you could see her smile again. You pray that life would be kind to him/her even if it isn’t kind to you.
In all your heartache, your love hasn’t changed, and decide that it would never change. You know in your Heart that if they come running, you’d embrace them back with open arms, but you’re not bold enough to say that.
So you embrace the only goodbye you’re courageous enough to say,
“Love, maybe we weren’t meant to be together in this lifetime. Maybe…just maybe, we’ll meet again in another lifetime where the odds would be in our favour. I hope we can both find happiness. Goodbye”
Conclusion
The harsh reality of breakups is that being broken up can cause feelings of rejection and pain even if the relationship ended mutually.
You’re going to struggle with denial, anger, confusion, loss, grief, guilt, etc. But the truth is, you can deal with it healthily. Yes, the pain is going to take a while. It’s going to take a lot of self-awareness, a lot of soul-searching, a lot of healing, a lot of courage, a lot of confidence, a lot of self-care, and a lot of effort to be happy but it’s important to be sure before breaking up.
Be sure that’s the decision you want to make. Be sure that’s what’s best for the relationship and your happiness.
Above all, be sure you can live with the regret of your decision even if it’s not what you want.
What’s your breakup story and how was the experience?
