Chika Jonah Writes

Category: Inspiration

  • Birthday gifts aren’t enough

    All i ever wanted was for her to affirm those words to my ears.
    Those emotions of love i showered upon her to never be ending.
    For her to see the good that i am and i do.
    To feel that she’s my world and that i want everything for her.
    To never let my shoulder weaken in the face of the world. For her to see that our relationship is a gift and not the birthday gift she gives me every year. Not out of feeling but out of obligation.

    But all i ever got was she affirming those words to the ears of others.
    Giving those emotions to those who could give her something in return.
    Never ending complains of my failures and my victory was showered on me.
    My good was replaced with greed.
    My feelings were trampled upon and my ego bruised.
    I wanted her love and respect but i got her threats.

    Then she came running back when she needed the care.
    In the long run, no one had ever given her the attention she got from me.
    When she missed the sweet melodies of companionship, she relaxed.
    When she needed the love and encouragement she focused on me.
    When she needed the advice, i was the only one available.

    Why me now? I asked. Tired of the back and forth.

    I’m i so ugly? say it!
    Do you hate my family? speak up!
    What is the problem? Am i the problem?…

    You never talk. You pretend like everything is alright.
    And all you do is dismiss me and belittle me
    I am human and I’m not God. I cant be everything you want me to be. I can only be me and me is enough to love you.

    You give all your time to others because they’ve built an empire for themselves.
    Because they can easily take you to la la land with the swipe of their fingers.
    Because they tell you anything just to make you feel special.
    Whereas the real man is the one standing right before you who’s not afraid to tell you the truth even when it hurts.

    I’m not a weak man. I’m a lover.
    A man in love with his woman.

    A man who doesn’t just want the universe but a man who wants the universe with a special someone in it to share it with him.
    A man who wants to work hard for his wealth and power.

    If that is not enough then leave.

    Leave!

    I want a woman who is deserving of me.

    Not a woman who chooses to love me when its convenient for her.

  • Red roses aren’t enough

    A frown was on her face when he walked in. That made him realize something was wrong and that something was not going to go well for him. His only hope is that she forgives him like she always does

    “You did that shit again didn’t you? Answer me!”. She demanded

    “It’s not the way you think baby”, he pleaded.

    “Don’t you dare lie to me. You keep making me feel like I’m nothing. I cant even trust a word you say. Everyday its the same shit”. She shouted at him.

    “Please…please… baby you know i love you. You can see it in my eyes. I need you. I need you in my future. I’m…so…sorry”. He begged as his voice softened.

    “I don’t want to have a future with someone who thinks he is free to do whatever he pleases regardless of my feelings”, she was so exhausted “i feel like a fool for always taking you back in, for thinking that you’d be better for this relationship”, she said in disgust, “when the truth is, its going to be the same thing always and am just so tired. Its enough.

    Why do we fall for their pretence all over again ?
    Why do we give in to their mock change?
    Why do we believe their truth for lies and their lies for truth?

    Their sweet words triggers our emotions
    The red roses changes the frown to a smile
    The cuddle makes us lean closer than we should
    Their tears melts our resolve

    The emotions which was gifted to the woman to be her greatest asset of sensitivity has become her weakness.

    The strength which was given to the woman to build her empire and rise above those against her, has now been trampled on.

    The wisdom which was a gift to discern the true path in life and decisions has now been clouded by selfish desires and others judgment.

    Those core values and principles that set you apart from the world have now been mocked and reduced to mere normality.

    I don’t think it is too late to take a stand for what you truly deserve. Its never too late to let go of the vulnerability and hold on to your strength. Start unlocking the doors hiding what is right for you.

    There is no use staying if you cant accept everything that comes with him. The good, bad and evil, even when the bad surpasses all.

    If moving on requires a fresh start then start it without any toxic person or environment. Do what you’ve got to do.

    Dance with the wind and be free.

    Here’s to new fruitful beginnings. Amen!

  • A new day

    Found jogging down the lane
    Looking to see
    The dew falling down on everyone
    Back aches as toddlers hang on to mothers
    Yet its pain is unnoticed.

    The quick steps of fathers
    As anxiety hangs on his face
    He pays deaf ears
    Because he races for his expectation.

    The joy of children
    Forgetting its rest
    Outside its nest
    Yet waiting for its play and toy.

    The gaze of a stranger
    With pain looking for clear skies
    To sooth its happiness
    All in one new day.