Author: Chika Jonah

  • The good man on a journey of the unknown

    He decided to go ahead. On a journey of soul searching.

    The dawn of everyday brought a feeling of emptiness, a void even all his wealth and achievements couldn’t fill, and he was extremely tired of it.

    He didn’t know what he was searching for, but he needed something; something spiritual and peaceful to give him a purpose other than chasing ambition.

    Every path he walked on gave him something to think of.

    Every natures breath that filled his nostrils gave him relief and calmness.

    Every wind of nature that blew on him, brought a smile to his face.

    He was finding rest, but was it enough?

    With this thought he continued on his journey and surprisingly found something when he stopped to rest.

    It was the body of a badly beaten injured man, with bruises that left him half dead.

    Without a second thought he carried him and walked all the way to the only inn he could find.

    He bandaged his wounds, rubbed his body with the healing oil and took care of him all night.

    In the morning he left a huge sum of money with the host to continue his treatment. He took off and continued on his journey knowing fully well that he had survived the critical stage and he would be fine in no time.

    With a smile on his face and a swell on his chest “i just saved a mans life“, He whispered. He realized he had done something great and had found something meaningful. It was the only feeling of peace and contentment he had had in a long time.

    He knew it was the hand of God.

    He didn’t know if it was fate that made him take the wrong turn or if it was his decision to not turn back but continue on the wrong turn and move ahead, that actually brought him to this point.

    All he knew was that he had found something to live for. Now his life’s work would be channelled to the direction of his faith, Love and kindness.

    To all my readers; What would you say have brought you where you are now? FATE OR CHOICE

    Story woven from Luke 10: 25- 37

    I would really love a response from y’all. God bless you.

  • My Unplanned conversation with a stranger

    For weeks now I’ve had withdrawal from blogging, writing contents, posting them and being active on all social media platform. It didn’t just happen all of a sudden, i was mugged. Due to that fact i decided to stay offline for a short period of time. I was dreading not writing, not sharing my experiences with the people around me and not being able to engage in conversations with the new friends I’ve made in the last few months. Even when i tried i just couldn’t. But something changed when i had an out of the blue conversation with a total stranger.

    I hope you wont stay too sad about my disappearance and find the words on this electronic paper worth the wait.

    We were both standing there for almost an hour, yet there was still no sign of a taxi. My friend was frustrated and i was irritated. The traffic was crazy and all taxi refused taking passengers. We were so tired of trying and getting no where that we practically started stopping every car that passed by. Finally one car stopped, and we were so relieved. On a normal day i would have been muttering ‘free ride’ to myself and giggling at the fact that my cab fare would be saved but that didn’t happen because it was not a normal day. We hopped in and thanked the man repeatedly, fortunately he was going our way, which was also an additional blessing.

    We drove off, it was a long way home so instead of making myself awkward by sitting down quietly, i decided to talk to my friend about something important.

    “Chi. I feel so bad for her, sometimes its more painful when you don’t have the power to do anything.” I said sadly about a lady we were familiar with that had been sick for weeks and her relatives turned a blind eye to her.

    “My dear, its not an experience i would wish for anyone. The worst part was the way that woman insulted her publicly knowing she was very ill.” she replied looking worried.

    “Exactly” i nodded in affirmation. “It doesn’t matter if what that woman ranted on was right or wrong, but it was neither the place, time nor manner to say all that. All she did was add more pain to the lady, which was totally uncalled for…the best thing would have been to find out about the status of her health presently and find a way to help her out, not add to her problems” i replied angrily.

    We chatted for a while longer and he listened carefully from the steering while driving when he dropped a question.

    “And her husband?” He asked.

    I turned and looked at him. “Why would you ask that Sir?” I asked surprisingly.

    “I asked because i have a feeling the husband, if there is one, is tangled in this whole mess.” He replied. We stared at him quietly because we knew what he just said was the truth even if it was just a guess.

    “Yes.” I nodded honestly. He smiled subtly and shook his head as if he thought of something important but didn’t know weather to say it or not. “I wish things had been different for her.” I added wistfully.

    “Things would be different for her if she acts on her priorities.” He said sternly

    “How do you mean sir?” I asked curiously with a look that said i wanted to hear what he had to say. He looked like a man who had seen the heads and tails of life. He was obviously a smart and intelligent man. But i wasn’t prepared for what he said next. It was the most practical and real thing i had heard in a long time.

    “You know what pretty young ladies”, we smiled at the complement. “I woke up one morning and called my wife. Every time i look at her i realize that she’s absolutely perfect for me”, We smiled and he continued. “When she sat down, i held her hand, faced her and told her; honey when the time comes that i can no longer give you the happiness you deserve, don’t fuss over it. Find that happiness yourself.”

    Those words hit a nerve. I was smeared. I didn’t know what to say. I just stared at him blankly. He noticed we looked at him strangely and laughed out loud.

    “You should see your faces, you look like confused children.” He said laughing and we laughed as well.

    “But sir, how could you say that to your wife. You are her husband so her happiness lies in yours and you are supposed to make her life full of joy and bliss.” I said curtly.

    “That is where you get it wrong. That I’m her husband doesn’t mean i can give her everything she wants. It only means thirty percent of her happiness lies in me but a whole seventy percent of her happiness lies in her hands. I don’t have the power to make her life filled with the best things and the best events. I’m only there to make life’s journey more easy, more bearable, more smooth and more secure for her. I can only give her what i have. I cant give her everything, but she can make everything as beautiful as she sees.” He said.

    “Wow sir! You’ve blown my mind away. What you’ve just said is what every girl should hear.” I smiled.

    “Yes. I would tell my sister the same thing anytime,” he said smiling. “Sometimes when we are with someone and we give him or her everything, we also want everything in return, but what we fail to understand is that a person cant always give you everything every single time; but they can give you what they have to the best of their capabilities, which is not wrong. What is wrong is being affected severely when we don’t get that in return”, We nodded solemnly. “So tell that lady that she should figure out what she really wants and make them her priorities. That would definitely give her peace and rest of mind, which would end up being the most effective medicine to her illness.” He added finally.”

    Wow! What he said was absolutely correct. Because sometimes we tend to fulfill the desires of those around us at the cost of our peace and happiness, which almost doesn’t sit well with our mind. And when our mind become weak, our body automatically goes weak as well, which was what i realized.

    “You’re right sir”, thinking of how his words had affected my life too; in a different way unknown to him.

    “Sir i must say this has been a wonderful ride. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences with us.” I said thankfully.

    “You’re welcome. I don’t know how it happened, i just couldn’t keep quiet. I hope we’ll hear a better story from that lady the next time you hear from her.” He said smiling.

    “I hope so too.”

    My friend dropped off first, i waved her goodbye. I dropped ten minutes later and waved at him frantically while he drove off. We may never meet again in this lifetime but the lesson learned would always be a part of my everyday life.

    After that conversation i started writing again. I offloaded every word in my brain and just couldn’t stop. He made me realize that what i want, what gives me fulfillment and what gives me a sense of purpose should be at the top of the list.

    Tell me what you think by leaving a comment. God bless you

  • Mistakes and Failure – The pressure to be perfect

    It was the end of junior holidays and becoming a senior student was a long awaited dream. Finally i get to choose the subjects i want. It was a good feeling because now your books and workload would be made up of your favorite subjects. A week before resumption dad called me to the living room.

    “How is your preparation for back to school?
    “Going smoothly dad. I’ve got everything listed so i don’t forget anything”, i said smiling “and I’m going to get more items tomorrow dad”. I continued. He nodded approvingly.
    “Have you decided what to major in?” He asked.
    “Yes i have” i replied smiling sheepishly.
    “And i hope that decision is for science”.
    “What?” I turned and faced him properly. My smile vanished and a frown appeared on my face.
    “I want you to choose science and become a science student. Hope you’re getting me?”.
    “No dad. How can i be a science student?”. I thought of how terrible i was at mathematics, physics and chemistry; i knew nothing about chemical formulas, the mere thought of science terrified me. “Dad i can’t choose science, i don’t like science subjects, they’re boring…” I ranted on near tears hoping he would understand.
    “The same way you managed to pass them, you would continue to do so. You’re my first child and you have to listen to what i say to you. Science is the best choice for you and i also want the best for you my daughter”.
    “Please dad….please”. I pleaded.
    “No i don’t want to hear your excuses. You should know that you can be a doctor, pharmacist, an engineer and a lawyer. So you’re doing sciences. And that’s final”. He looked sternly at me and stormed out of the room.
    With those words he ended the girls dream of being an art student but what he didn’t know was that, she was as stubborn as he was and he couldn’t end the girls will.

    Thinking back at that conversation, it was so hilarious. I mean who does science to study law in the university? Its absurd. And my dad was hell bent on me being a science student so that i could study a science related course in the university or study law (A typical African father mentality) – *laughs*

    Its not embarrassing for me to say i always failed woefully in mathematics. The highest score i ever had was forty seven over hundred, which was still an ‘F’. So how was i supposed to do great as a science student. The worst of them all was further mathematics, i always sweat when i think about it. I remember every time the paper was before me in exams i would always battle with perspiration till the point where i would give up trying because the end result would still be a seven over hundred (what a waste of time and energy – *laughs) No matter how had i tried i couldn’t just understand it.

    I remember after that conversation with dad, i was turn between both sides. I found myself at a crossroad; to follow my dream or to follow my fathers dream for me. As a child i was scared of going against him. I wanted to please him and hear him sing my praises on his lips. I was on edge throughout the first week of resumption. I kept rubbing my hands together, and i hated that kind of feeling. I just wanted to have peace. Each time i looked at my government teacher or my literature books i almost cried because i couldn’t bear missing all that. So i ended up choosing what made me happy. I became an Arts student, i knew i could still be a lawyer and since that was partly what Dad also wanted for me, it felt right. So i made a mental note to deal with his anger for disobeying me when i get back home during the holidays.

    During the holidays he got over his anger. They all saw that nothing could melt my resolve and stubbornness so they all accepted it. After all, i still wanted to be a lawyer just like he wanted me to be so it wasn’t all bad. His misconception changed after he paid great attention to the fact that i was more glad studying arts. In the long run admissions for law was closed so i ended up studying Economics in the university, which i eventually fell in love with. Dad was happy, very supportive and more proud because i didn’t give in to the pressure but i choose what i wanted for my self.

    Why am i sharing all this?

    To correct the mistake of expecting too much from the people we love.
    “When we expect too much we get disappointed”

    We put too much pressure on the people we love to be perfect; be it our children, our spouses, our boyfriends and girlfriends, our close friends and our pastors. When the simple truth is no one can be perfect.

    We expect supernatural behavior and when we get human behavior we tackle them, blame them for their short comings and throw abuses at them. And because of those hurls thrown at them; firstly, they sink into low self esteem and begin to see themselves as weak, useless, good for nothing people. When this thoughts cloud their mind it quickly turns into insecurities, they see themselves as their own enemies, they lose trust in their capabilities and in their passion and dreams. It becomes like a venom that poisons their mind, soul and spirit. Secondly, they fear you. They fear you so much that they would do anything humanly possible not to arouse your anger, and to avoid you throwing words that remind them of their mistakes and failures.

    When there is this pressure to be perfect it leads to more imperfections because they do everything for you and loose themselves in the process.

    I met a girl at the wedding of a friend for the first time. She was a quiet and calm girl and after the wedding we all went our separate ways only to hear last week that she committed suicide in her room in school.

    Why? (A question i regret hearing the answer)
    Because she failed her exams, she couldn’t handle it so she committed suicide my hanging.

    I kept asking myself what would have pushed her to harbor such thought and the will to go ahead with it? It was terrible. What pressure the world had put on her as an only child to pass with perfect grades?

    I still don’t know the answer to that question but i wish things had been different for her.

    Its important to know that its okay to fail. Mistakes would always be part of our lives because we are human. We are not some god or some superheros. Its okay to be weak. Its okay to make silly mistakes. Its okay to be different. Its okay to be disappointed. Its okay to not have all you want presently. Its okay if we are scared once in a while. Its okay if our kids and partners choose their own path.

    Its best if they choose their path not the path we want for them. Only then can they live without regrets. And deal with whatever comes their way.

    It is our imperfections that complete us. It is those imperfections that make us call on God and lean on him.

    Choose to live your dream and not the dream of someone else
    Choose to spread love, courage and positivity
    Choose the pursuit of your passion
    Choose what gives you peace
    Choose to stay calm under pressure
    Choose You; Even when everyone frowns at it.

    Thank you for reading to the end.
    What are your thoughts on this? How best do you deal with failure? Share your response by commenting on the comments section. Hit the like button if you had a good read.