Chika Jonah Writes

Author: Chika Jonah

  • Where did the wooing mission go wrong?

    Guys I must applaud you. You men are amazing. How do you guys get the heart to ask a lady out? I mean its really not an easy thing wooing a lady. Its like gambling and it could either be a win win or a total loss. Whoop! You guys have balls. And when they face rejection they still come out strong and healthy. You guys deserve a pat on the shoulder for all that you face in the hands of we ladies.

    But can you guys stop doing this. Please just stop doing the two things I’m going to point out right now. I’m not a relationship coach but sometimes I hate it when you do this and so does most ladies.

    1. The beginning line

    I went to get something from a close by store that day and I noticed a car buying fruits by the road side. When I came back I still saw him and that was when he stopped me (I knew he saw me passed and probably waited till I came back to act). He wined down the glass.

    “Hello”. I continued walking “Hello”, I heard again and turned back to see who needed my attention.

    “Oh Hi”. I replied.

    “Have we met before? You look familiar”. He asked curiously, expecting a conversation.

    “No, I don’t think I know you”. I replied shaking my head sideways.

    “Do you live around here? I’m trying to recall where I know you from”. He said again. Oh now he is trying to know where I live I thought to myself. “I’m very sure you don’t know me okay”. I said sternly trying to walk away

    “By the way I’m Chris. And you really really look familiar. I feel like I know you from somewhere”. He repeated. This time I was fed up. And felt like punching him. Was this the best he could do? I wondered.

    “Noooo!! You don’t know me and I don’t know you. Simple”. I replied with clenched teeth and stormed out, trying to be civilized, walked inside and burst out laughing.

    Why use that line? Of all the dating line you could use, why that one? Don’t you know that it makes you men look foolish and hopeless (sorry to say) Why are you asking her if she’s familiar with you? Does she look like your mother or does she look like your TV crush or does she look like the girl you see in your dreams? Please don’t. Just greet her and turn back. Please I’m pleading.

    2. Jumping the line of friendship.

    You meet her today and next week your line is “Chika I really like you. Can we please go on a date together? Would you go on a date with me? For what? Are you John Wick? (laughs).

    Let me say it in our Nigerian style “babe I like you. I really want you to be my girlfriend. I for like date you oh”

    Guys why?

    Don’t you know how to build friendship.
    I’m not saying what you are feeling is a lie. Its alright if its love at first sight but please keep it to yourself. Don’t tell her three days after you met her that you love her so much and that since that day you’ve not been able to sleep.

    Its the plans that you’ve laid out to achieve that is giving you sleepless night not her. Four years is not even enough to know someone so why jumping the line and trying to get a grown ass woman in just one weak or one month of meeting her.

    Build friendship so that you’ll eventually get all of her. If you jump the line of friendship you may end up getting nothing or getting fragments of her.
    To avoid rejection, disgrace and long term suffering, build friendship.

    Be wise

    See you in 2020

  • 5 Travel Must have’s necessary for that trip.

    During the course of my trip I got a lot of questions about my travel necessities. And I figured out why. Nobody wants to embark on a journey missing the necessary things and end up regretting later why they didn’t have those things. These things are so little yet so important if you are going to be traveling on the roads of Nigeria. Especially during this festive season. So here are my four travel necessities for that trip:

    1. Earphone/earpiece

    You don’t want to forget this item. The journey is long. It would get boring. Everyone may end up sleeping around you. What would you be doing awake. Music or movie? And you can’t listen to any without a good earphone. So this is a must have on any type of journey at all.

    2. A Book.

    While some may not see the need for this. This is my favorite travel item. I can’t go anywhere, even if its just a mile away, without a book. If it’s a long journey like the one I just had then I go with two books. A novel and a business/Christian book. While music is good for the soul. A great book is great for the mind. And sometimes earphones can cause head ache, and when it happens like that a book is your saving grace. It helps you feel good about yourself. It gives you that feeling that you’re gaining knowledge and not wasting the time just staring at the driver or the road.

    3. Purging Medication

    This is the most important item on the list, yet often ignored until the storm begins and you regret why you didn’t take this drug. Once upon a time I ignored this meds and my fate was worse. My stomach raged war for more than 12 hours in a two days journey. That day was the most embarrassing day of my life. Oh God! (laughs) You don’t want to hear the full story. Just know that it was bad!!!! Very bad!!!! I don’t know what works for those outside Nigeria but in Nigeria its “Flagyl” that does the magic. So guys, before you pack your cloths, put your purge medication inside your bag. Because when it starts, God will not save you, only that tablet would.

    4. Tote bag

    This is for both ladies and gents. You don’t want to pack your shoes, toiletries, cosmetics and deodorants together with your cloths. That’s not right. Your tote bag is best for these items, to give you easy access and to avoid them ruining your cloths. I have the worst tote bag ever, because my things keep falling off (laughs) but it works for me because it carries my non-wear necessities remarkably well. So get yourself a good tote bag and enjoy the ride.

    Some of you are still debating if you should embark on that trip. I’ll tell you take it. If you don’t have all the time, take it once a year. Its an opportunity to unwind, create new memories, engage in conversations, see new places and gives you the best time and moment for yourself

    I hope you found this post useful. Tell me about your travel must have’s that is not included in the list in the comment section below.

  • Welcome to the Fantasy vs Reality of Love

    Last night I was listening to ‘one of us’ by ABBA my long time favorites (when ever I play the album all I think about is my dad) but last night all I could think of was a time long before now. My teenage hood. I remembered playing this song then and dreaming of Love and couldn’t stop myself from laughing loudly at this thought

    Don’t worry I’ll tell you why…(laughs)

    I remember laying on my bunk bed holding my Express music phone(smart phones were nonexistent at that time), then I hit the play button and reduced the volume. Wanting it to sound calm and smooth. Wanting it to resonate through my ears and emotions. I remembered closing my eyes to the rhythm , feeling every bit of emotion and dreaming along. Wondering how love was even more sweeter than they sang. Wondering if there was something special about them that they could feel this big thing called LOVE . Amazed at how lucky they were to be loved so deeply. Wishing mine would be so spectacular. Wishing mine would be like the heavens they sing it to be. Fantasizing how holding his hands would send electric shocks to my heart like the song said. Imagining how sweet my first kiss would be. Playing the scenes of how our swim together would be heavenly. Dreaming of how his baritone voice would take all my pain away. Praying I could experience what they sang about. Eager to fall in love and drown in its bliss.

    Then….

    Finally, I fell in love after growing up… I was in Love!! Yay!! But….

    Nothing… Nothing…

    I didn’t experience the butterflies in my stomach like I dreamt of. No electric shocks even after I held the hand for straight two hours – hahaha. My feet did not fail me even after I looked into his eyes. The first kiss was as weird and annoying as I never thought it would be. Ah!

    And then I fell out of love and fell in love again with another person. I mean wasn’t love supposed to be forever with the best person. So what happened?

    I can’t even remember how many times I’ve fallen in love, yet why is mine different from the one they sing about and the one they show us in the movies?

    Maybe its like the loud saying “Love na Scam” 😂(in Nigerian voice)

    Back to now

    After realizing how naive I and other girls my age was back then. I couldn’t stop laughing at our stupidity and ignorance. Now we have all grown wiser and bigger and we know that yes love is not a scam but only love is.

    Now we know that love makes us come to you but it takes more than love to make us stay with you. Love is tough. Love is supposed to be more than just emotions. Now we know that God is bigger and he is love. He is the biggest expression of love. Our love for him makes us love deeply and passionately.

    Love with commitment
    Love with bravely
    Love with purpose
    Love with God……because
    God is Love.

    Just love is never enough.

    What misconceptions about love and relationships did you have growing up? And have you found love? I’d love to here all your responses in the comment section below.

    P/S – never thought I’ll be able to share this silly part of my story with anyone but here I am, doing just that. I need a hug…