Chika Jonah Writes

Tag: #weakness #strength #faith

  • Try erasing those mistakes again; I have a surprise for you.

    *laughs* You’re probably going to make the same mistake I just did. The funny thing is that we already have at the back of our mind that we are in the new year and the new decade. I mean some of us have laid out new year resolutions, visions, plans, scheduled events, hangouts, to do and do nots etc. Some have been singing 2020 since the month of September last year.

    So why then do more than half of the world’s population end up making this same mistake?

    Because changes are inevitable and we must adjust to them whether we like it or not and whether we are prepared for it or not.

    So I’m leaving you with this. This year comes with the full package of everything. I’m not going to beat my chest and tell you its all going to be all rosy and cozy. No. Like every other year its going to come with uncertainties. The best would be to be prepared but sometimes we don’t see the back of the dress we wear to know if it fits properly, so when those changes come, weather good or bad. Rise above those changes. Don’t run. Don’t hide. Don’t give excuses. Don’t shy away. Handle them. Handle those changes with God and a sound mind. Keep writing 2020 till no one notices 2019 was once written before No matter how many erasers break keep erasing it till it turns out perfect.

    Keep erasing the bad habits, garbages, negativity, low self esteem till you see the picture of the ‘you’ you’ve always envision to see radiate so brightly.

    PS – Don’t be shocked that I don’t have new year resolutions, or a list of how my last year went. The truth is what I’m going to tell you is not enough compared to what these four persons are going to share with you on the blog this month.

    Yes!!

    You heard right. I’ll be featuring four guest post from four people that made my year one of growth and daring to take chances. These people have blessed me with their wealth of knowledge, their expertise and their story, and I want you to get what I got, to see/feel the impact they’ve impacted and to learn what I have learnt from them. I’ll be posting each post every Friday in this month of January. So watch out for my next post this Friday and other posts to come.

    Thank you.

    Don’t stop sharing, liking and commenting on each post. Much love xoxo.

  • The cries of a young wife

    He told me to he would stand by me through everything.
    He told me he would support me and be the best lover, husband, and father he could ever be.

    He promised to be beside me always
    He promised to hold my hand
    He promised to never let me cry in vain
    He promised to share every joy, pain and challenges together

    Then, like a bolt of lightening the horrors of loss and pain and sorrow came in. Our live was turned upside down. Every hint of joy and peace vanished. Our dreams turned into nightmares.

    I stopped lamenting and stood up to fight those demons that couldn’t stop hunting us.
    I wanted every peace and joy and resources of ours that were stolen to be returned
    I rose from my anguish to wage war
    Because i had my partner by my side. With him and my children i knew i could win any battle.

    I whispered in his ear that night “we would beat this honey”
    And he said “its been months baby and yet we’ve had no sign of change. I cant watch you and the children suffer anymore”.
    I held his cold hands “I’m sure we would find a way honey, you cant give up now”.
    He nodded and we each turned to our thoughts

    Five am the next morning “hey baby, i need to go out and see what could pop up, maybe ill find a way” He said.
    “Okay” i nodded.

    Six pm there was no sign of him… Eight pm there was no sign of him…Ten pm there was still no sign of him. I became scared and frantic, still waiting and hoping he would come home to me.

    “Hello, is this Mrs…?
    “Yes that’s me”…
    “There’s no better way to say this ma’am, I’m
    Sorry, we just found your husband’s body, he committed suicide by drug overdose….we found a letter addressed to you in his pockets…that was how we could reach you…

    Suicide! How could he do this to his family…he killed himself….Why? For what? Oh i know. Challenges! Loss! Poverty! Just for these reasons. Things i couldn’t even put a face on. Wow! He had so much guts to kill him self but had no guts to stay alive. To stay with me.

    There were no tears. No sound! No voice!
    Only the voices in my head
    Only my thought wedging war
    Only my anger towards him
    Only my anger towards myself
    Only my anger towards the love i had for him

    What of his promises to me. I only ever wanted him. He was my whole life. I wanted him. He lied to me that morning. Oh! He didn’t lie. He said he was going to find a way and that he did. His way was suicide.

    He abandoned me. The woman he loved. He left his two boys without a father. Just because he couldn’t handle the problem. Or because he couldn’t be brave and hold my hand and face everything head on

    Then like a sharp pain realization hit me…

    He was a weak man.
    A man not strong enough
    A man not brave enough
    A man not smart enough
    A man not wise enough
    A man not courageous

    The only thing he had were emotions. His never ending love for me. His emotions of gratitude, respect, trust, sense of belonging, physical strength and kindness towards everyone around him.
    He never had true strength of a man. The Valor and its survival instinct.

    I married a lovable weak man.

    It was then the tears flowed. Tears i couldn’t stop. I loved him so much so much that it hurts but that love has hate in it.

    Hating him for only being a man in bed and never a man in its real sense. For never facing his problems like a true man and working hard to solve them.

    Just love is never enough. Love is bearing all things together, forever.

    Love is what God gave us.