Why some close friends don’t last forever? Well, I’m sorry to inform you that, that close friend you have now may not be as close few months to come. Some close friends don’t last forever. Sometimes even best of friends fall out of friendship not only because of an argument, fights, betrayal or some obvious reasons but because of the most simplest thing you never see coming.
My 300L in the university I met this pretty girl. We met outside school. At home precisely, during the holidays. She came to spend the holidays in her uncles house and would go back to school from there once the holidays was over. We were schooling in the same school (Madonna University) but not in the same Campus. I was in the Arts campus studying Economics while she was in the Science campus studying Physiotherapy, which was a four hour drive from where I was.
I don’t know it happened but I loved her the same day I met her, she was the most silliest and sarcastic person I knew then. laughs She was so full of life and hardly ever gets angry. I mean I am the same too, except that I am crazy and I often get angry. smiles
We exchanged numbers and was always talking even when we went back to school. During the holidays, her campus was still in session, and i missed her so much. I did the craziest thing ever. Without thinking, I hopped into the bus and it took me two hours to reach there. I dropped off I front of her school gate. I went to see her. And damn! The look on her face is something I can never forget. She was all smiles, and practically introduced me to everyone on her block. After we spent the afternoon together, I went back home and that was the day our friendship took a big turn. We became inseparable.
Our friendship blossomed and became so strong. And then we graduated. I first, because as always science student were always delayed for some reason or the other. We couldn’t wait to see each other and plan NYSC (National youth service corps) together. Nysc – A one year service for new Nigerian graduates
And when she finally graduated and came home, it was pure bliss. We were like two broke street girl lovers. A mixture of fun and crazy. And then months later, we were off on our path to the Nations call.
If only i knew that, those few months before service was going to be the last real time we spent together, I would have made a copy of each experience.
Slowly everything changed. In the one year we were apart we were no longer as close as before. But I still refused to let go. No. This was my best friend and best friends were supposed to last forever. That we didnt talk often didnt mean I loved her less. No. My love for her didnt change. So we found a way to meet again and hangout as before.
It was so great to get together again and the more time we spent with each other the more I realized that, nothing was the same again. We were different. Those important values and dreams wasnt in the picture anymore. We had grown into separate direction. I teared up at the realization that we were no longer close nor best friends. Sadly we were just friends. Something close to an acquaintance. I finally agreed that some close friends don’t last forever.
***It is as hurtful as it is real. As young people we thrive through friendship. The energy that comes with been surrounded by great friends keeps our spirit alive and constantly makes us feel loved and needed. While some of us are lucky to have the greatest circle of friends, others aren’t. And while some are still celebrating fifty years of friendship, others like me, often experience never-lasting best friends. But now I’m no longer bothered by it, because after experiencing it firsthand, the fact still remains that, not all friendship fail or never last because of something hurtful like betrayal, cheating, lies etc. Some fail because of reasons beyond our control.
I’m going to share 5 reasons why some close friends don’t last forever.
Growth and exposure
Growth is one reason why some close friends don’t last forever. Growth constitutes development and differences. Growth here doesn’t mean an increase in size or age or career. It means a big increase in experience. The things you experience at different point and areas; be it the people you meet, the conversations you have and so on can impact greatly on your mental level. Thereby increasing your level of exposure and knowledge. If your friend is still stuck in the same pattern, then this growth in you can dampen your relationship. They may begin to feel left out because there is now a restriction in your conversations. They may not be able to meet up with your level of maturity and gradually…distance creeps in and creates a gap too big to fill.
Change in lifestyle
This is one of the most important reason why some close friends don’t last forever. When the big word ‘Change’ creeps in, everything moves to a different direction. Our lives are ever changing. So a change like; moving into a new city, getting married, becoming a new father or mother, kids going to school can result to a big change in your friendship.
This is a constant factor that is a constraint for any relationship. The impact of such changes can reduce the communication between friends, thereby slowly killing the friendship.
Different Values and Principles.
This reason why some close friends don’t last forever is very important to me personally.
I for one cannot be close friends with someone that doesn’t see life the way I do. Its okay to have friends generally. But your close friends should have good values that compliment yours. Friends that wouldn’t want you to compromise on your principles. Imagine a man of color having a racist friend. Its very clear that such friendship would not work.
No Effort
This is probably one reason we are mostly guilty of. When visiting your friend, making a phone call to a friend, checking up on them and supporting them when needed, becomes a big deal for you, then that friendship is going to fail before it even starts.
Friendship take a lot of effort from everyone involved (not just one person) to work. It takes commitment and hard work for it to last forever. Whereby, the needed effort is lacking, then that friendship is bound to not last long.
Priority Shift
When your other relationships begin to take more importance over others, there’s bound to be a stir in your friendship. This happens more when a single girl transitions into a married woman, you’d here her friends begin to complain that, “now that she is married she doesn’t have time for us”. Her entire world begins to revolve around her husband. She subconciously pushes her friends away without even realizing it and also begins to welcome married friends of the same status to her side.
No bonding time.
If there is no bonding time between close friends, then that friendship is sure to not last. Bonding time can include traditions between friends to keep the friendship alive. Like; date nights, girls trip, boys trip, games night, sleepovers, late night parties, dinners, travels etc. Anything to strengthen the bond between friends. When these traditions are no longer maintained, the friendship is bound to diminish.
Know this;
No friendship is perfect. Some friendships would last and some others would fail. Don’t beat yourself each time you lose a friend. Don’t blame yourself either. Remind yourself that its never your job to nurture that friendship alone. It is theirs as well.
Remember that life passes and so does people. Some people are in our lives to stay for a while then leave, while some are there to stay for a lifetime.
The most important thing is to cherish those moments and enjoy it while it lasts because I’m sure you now know and understand why some close friends don’t last forever.
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You should see this post on friendship
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