Chika Jonah Writes

Tag: Death

  • Dying Slowly

    Dying slowly

    Dying slowly

    Oma saw Anita coming and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes while she continued writing out the prescription drugs on a piece of paper.

    “Oma!” Anita called.

    “Yes.”

    “I just saw the doctor, he said that so far the treatment has been effective but he doesn’t understand why in recent times she has not been responding to the treatment. They have to perform another test. And…and…its going to cost seventy five thousand naira.” Anita informed sadly.

    “What? Seventy five thousand naira! How the hell am I supposed to get that much money?”, She staggered back and leaned on the wall. With hands ruffling her hair, looking at Anita with those painful eyes. “Take a look at these”, She handed over the prescription paper to Anita and as Anita read through her face changed. “Oh God!” Anita whispered.

    “Now th…i…s too.” Oma fell to the chair and sobbed uncontrollably. Anita rushed to her and wrapped her hands around her.

    “Six months Ani”, Oma spoke in between tears. “Six months of been in this dreadful hospital. Six months of dropping it all. Of trying to save her life. And now there is nothing left. We have nothing. I have nothing to give her Ani.” She cried.

    “No. No. Don’t say that baby.” A lone tear fell from Anita’s eyes as she held her friend tightly. She could feel the pain Oma went through. She had seen Oma go through hell to help her Sister who was diabetic suffering from a lung infection. She left her job to take care of her. She sold everything she had just to afford the hospital bills. Spent sleepless night catering for her and was constantly praying for her.

    Oma pushed Anita away “She should die. She should just die and end this misery.” Oma barked.

    “What? I don’t think you know what you’re saying.” Anita said, uncertain of how to respond.

    “I meant every word.” Oma replied her sternly.

    Anita raised her had and slapped Oma on the cheeks. “Are you out of your mind?” She screamed. Quickly she grabbed Oma’s shoulder and shook her vigorously, “Don’t you dare say that again. If you really meant it, then why are you still here? You should have been at home taking a nap, surfing the internet or chatting with friends. But you chose to be here. Fighting this battle. Don’t give up baby. I beg you. Please don’t give up.” She took Oma back into her arms and Oma cried on her shoulders.

    “I’m sorry. I’m just tired.” She wept uncontrollably.

    “I’m too tired” She whispered. Anita gave her a slow pat “I know. I know baby. You’ll be fine. We will all be fine.” She reassured her friend.

    They sat down there for a long time until Oma stood up “look after her Ani, I’ll go arrange the money somehow and get her the drugs. Lets prep her for this test.” Anita nooded.

    Before she left she quickly took a glance at her sister, who was sleeping softly on her bed. She couldn’t help but wonder what she was dreaming about.

    She walked towards her, leaned to her right ear and said those words she had been meaning to say, “Don’t you dare die on me sis. Fight. Fight hard and come home to me. Okay?” She stroked her cheeks warmly and left.

    Four weeks later Oma’s sister died after a prolonged seizure. She fought so hard for so long, but towards the last week, she went into a coma and didnt survive the seizure.

    There was so much pain and tears and sorrow in the room. Everyone was either wailing or sniffing. Only Oma didnt cry. She stood at a corner too shocked to do anything. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t cry. There was no more tears left to cry and nothing left to say. Only pain to feel.

    What they didn’t know was that, Oma died slowly every time she watched her sister fight her sickness in pain and agony, pieces by pieces till there was nothing left of her.

    Nothing.

    THE END

    What are your thoughts on the dying slowly story? Did you wish things ended differently for OMA? Just drop your thoughts in the comment below.

    Read the waking up story series here

    Get some fiction stories for free here on obooko. They’ve been a life saver

  • 2 THINGS LOSS DOES TO A PERSON AND HOW TO CHANGE THE RESULT

    The first effect of lost is the absence of something or someone that was originally in that space.

    When you withdraw the sum of ten thousand naira to solve some impending issues and then when you get home, you deep your hand into your picket or handbag only to find out that the money is no longer there.

    A gap is instantly created. Emotionally and physically. Physically that money is no longer there and you can’t wrap your head as to how it happened. Emotionally it becomes hard to accept, because this was your hard earned money, your brain takes you back to the sweat and griding it took to make that money. Then it reminds you that its gone and the impending issue you had can no longer be solved. It gets worse, because now everything becomes less pleasant.

    The money lost and gone.
    The problem still present and unsolved.

    This is the feeling of loss. A gap is instantly created that you never planned for. There is a pain in your chest that you can’t get rid off.

    The aftermath of this experience drives you to live in two uncertain ways. Which are;

    1. TOWARDS LIFE

    Once something as sudden as the going of a loved one happens, you begin to imagine why and how something like that can happen to someone so full of life. Then it hits you. The realization that the same thing can also happen to you. That tomorrow is unsure. That this moment can be everything you have. Once this sink in, you begin to see life in a different light. You question why you are even suffering all this? Who the money in your account is for.

    At this point you are beginning to see the value of truly living in the moment. But the excessiveness of your traumatic emotions can push you to live in that same light.

    You can wake up the next day withdraw all the money you have without thinking twice, because now that reason why you were saving that money doesn’t matter anymore.

    The next thing you are on a shopping spree, or on a road trip, or partying with your friends, flexing like your life depends on it You begin to do all the things you haven’t done before. After all, you cannot suffer and die and leave all that money for someone else laughs

    It can also be the mindset that connects you to estranged family members and friends. You reconnect with your loved ones and be committed to making your relationship from that day a good one, because now you understand that the future is uncertain.

    1. TOWARDS DEATH

    Yes you heard right. It starts with dying slowly mentally, then your body taking its toll, then destroying your life before finally giving up and dying physically.
    For the first five months of my grief. I was in this category. I was inviting death. My thought was “is it not death again, oya come na. I’m waiting” But death did not come.

    But I was dying slowly every time I became a bitch, every time I pushed everyone away from me. From the time I stopped praying and didn’t consider God worthy of stepping in.

    This time, you can’t see anything good or hopeful anymore. All you see is a pool of darkness and gradually you pull themselves into that darkness. Either you befriend alcohol, drugs, crime or the wrong company. You become self destructive. Determined to destroy yourself. You feel that faith and hope are just some empty words from a senseless person.

    In this category you live to destroy yourself, you just want to join that person or drown with that failed business or lost container or that millions that was scammed from you. You would prefer to die than handle the mess. Than face your emotions. Than feel the mountain of pain in your heart.

    ***

    The downside of this two side is the knowing when to stop. The bad part of the first one is that you can make some very costly mistakes that would cost a lot to recover from in the name of living life. And the bad part of the second one is that you are conciously putting your family through the ordeal of seeing you that way, and you would always see yourself as a weak man.

    HERE IS WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

    It is alright to feel all this way. We all grief differently. Sometimes it pushes you to live. Other times it pushes you to die.

    You should know that, this is how your brain respond to pain

    In CHEMICAL HEARTS movie, it says

    “Love is a chemical reaction that comes and goes, so is lost and heartbreak”. (You should watch the movie if you haven’t. Check the review here)

    The same way it came it can go too. It only takes time.

    When shit happens to you, it triggers your brain and tightens your chest because now something has changed. You body now desperately searches for feel-good chemicals to return it back to normal.

    Those feel good chemicals come from love, good people around you, hope and motivation to live. You should embrace them

    Just know that whichever way that pain, grief, loss drives you to; Regret is waiting for you in the end.

    Don’t do anything that would make you regret your choice. Embrace the light in Gods word to help you overcome it all.

    Ever lost someone or something? How did you handle it? Share in the comment