Tag: dating

  • 1 thing could ruin that perfectly planned out date

    He kept talking nonstop that at some point he didn’t know when few grains of rice fell off from his mouth to the table.

    He realized what happened and silently prayed that she didn’t notice and went on

    “Oh, God!” She almost fainted when she saw what happened and couldn’t stop the irritation that appeared on her face. She just kept quiet, faced her plate, and waited for this date to come to an end.

    They continued having light conversations while she was eating with her fork and knife. Even though she wasn’t used to eating that way. She used her knife to slice through the Chicken on her plate and tried holding it with the fork when the Chicken flew up, hit her forehead, and fell on the floor far beside their table.

    The room feels silent as everyone turned to their direction. All eyes were on her oil-stained forehead and the Chicken on the floor (laughs). Some tried to hide their laugher others couldn’t.

    She covered her face in shame and didn’t know which direction to face. The embarrassment was just too much to handle.
    “So much for a perfect date”. She mumbled.

    Grabbed her bag and left with face down as people’s gazes followed her to the door.

    After getting all your feedback on our last post on genotype I realized that some people in relationships have no idea about their partner’s genotype. It can be as a result of ignorance and nonchalant ness and it can also be as a result of blindness.

    Blinded by the unrealistic assumption we have of them and more receptive to the perfect side they portrayed.

    Yes! When we like someone we accept whatever we see and react positively to it. We cling to the perfect perception we have of them than anything else may not matter at the moment.

    When they open their mouth and we hear how smooth and neat their English is, we also become forced to be like them and try to speak adequately as well that we end up ruining everything in the process.

    Madam/ Oga stick to your pidgin or local dialect if that’s what you know how to speak.

    When you see how handsomely dressed he looks, you try to look sophisticated as well by wearing a very tight gown and long heels, that your zip may get broken and you end up ruining your ankle.

    And if she’s looking so stylish and chic, you go and wear the fine shoe that you stopped wearing years ago because you had outgrown it. Afterwards you come back with more pain and blisters all over your foot.

    You trade your comfortability for barely what you think the other person is; Someone with no shortcomings.

    Stop making unrealistic assumptions.

    It’s because of those assumptions that your new relationship comes to an end even before it starts.

    Because she’s looking so fresh, you think she can’t fart, or get messy. And because he is in money, you think he’d have table manners and eat like a king.

    Those things are just what you see on upfront and they are unrealistic.

    You focus on that and forget that there are other crucial things to talk about when you first meet, like dreams, purpose, faith, family, health, genotype etc

    The more vital things you neglect because of your unrealistic presumptions, the more you destroy your chances of making things work.

    Let your personality be on full display from the moment you get talking with the other person.

    Let your true self do the talking. And don’t let the other person think that you’re not expressing your true self.

    Be real.

    Because assumptions can ruin it even before it begins.

    P/S – One time I kept trying to form Queens English while on a date since the guy was speaking so well that I eventually gave up and switched to pidgin. Laughs

    Drop a comment and tell me some of those things you’ve done just to make sure you don’t embarrass yourself in front of your date.

  • He’s AS She’s SS; Genotype and relationship

    “Hi Chika. I know we’ve just been waving at each other but now I really want to get to know you. Can I have your number?”. He asked expectantly. While I just smiled looking at my phone.

    “Oh! What’s your Genotype?”. I asked and a weird look appeared on his face.

    “What?” He exclaimed in shock probably wondering what his genotype has to do with his feelings. “I’m AS”. He responded finally.

    ” Oh Sorry. Then you don’t need my number. Goodbye”. I shook my head, hid a smile and left him puzzled.


    “Chika baby. You’re a really nice girl. I’d really love to go out with you this weekend. Just to hang out”. He asked shyly.

    “First of all, what’s your genotype?” I asked without raising my face to look at him or I would have noticed the strange look on his face.

    “Are you seriously asking me that? He asked slightly upset”.

    ” Yes I am. And I’m waiting for your answer”. I replied nonchalantly.

    “I’m AA”. He replied.

    “Okay. Cool. I’ll see you then”.


    This is the story of my life. I’m Chika Jonah and I’d like to take you back to the reason for all this.

    After two years of remarkable friendship and relationship. We were both happy, growing and dreaming. Our days were filled with lots of conversations, dreams and working our ass off to achieve those dreams.
    And in one of our conversations, we were talking about injections, blood and then we went on to blood groups and genotypes that was when he randomly said ” I’m AS”.

    I instantly froze.

    “Wh…a…t did you just say?”. I stammered, hoping I had heard wrong.

    “That I’m AS. Is anything wrong with that?” He asked confused at the shock he heard in my voice. I just couldn’t say anything. All of a sudden I was sweating profusely.

    “Yes. Everything is wrong with that. Everything”. I sobbed into the phone.

    “What’s the problem? You’re scaring me. Just tell me”. He pleaded worriedly.

    ” I’m AS too”. The bomb dropped with my response and everywhere became quiet instantly. It was too big a pill to swallow.

    “Are you sure?” He asked with every emotion in him and I nodded. “Then do the test again”. He added sternly. I didn’t want to argue with him I I agreed.

    I did the test again and again even when I knew it was going to be the same result. And each time my resolve weakened and I cried all over again.

    I was happy with someone I was never going to spend the rest of my life with.

    He begged, we cried but somehow he knew I was going to do it. Faith had no chance.
    I broke it off as quickly and painful as I felt.
    It was over. All because of a two-letter word so small yet so powerful.

    My story is not to make you feel sympathetic towards me but to help you understand this fact;

    Don’t be ignorant


    It saddens me that even adults in their twenties and thirties don’t know what their genotype is. They walk around, go from one relationship to another without knowing how much of their future they put at risk. Walk to the hospital, give them your

    blood samples and wait for your results. If you’re still not satisfied with the result go over to 2 more hospitals and do it all over again. One result may lie, but three results can’t lie.
    Don’t be careless or you may end up investing everything in a relationship that should never be in the first place

    Don’t say it doesn’t concern you because you’re AA.

    Stop that thought. That’s selfishness. You are not in this for yourself but for the other person. For the relationship, you want to build. For your peace of mind and for your future. Notice that every time I asked “What’s your genotype?” I didn’t give mine first instead I waited to hear from the other person. That’s how it should be.

    Don’t Stay. End it.


    I’m sorry but I’m not going to tell you to stay even if you’ve been dating for six years. Not that I doubt your faith but because your faith isn’t practical. Ask yourself this question; Can you watch your child go through the pains and agony that comes with sickle cell? Can you watch your child constantly face death each time? Can you leave with the guilt of putting them through that? Is your faith strong enough to carry you through this ordeal?
    I’m sure you know the answer already. A broken heart is better than a broken future.

    Be Wise

    One more thing – I’m probably going to sing my national anthem “What’s your genotype” till I find my man (laughs) so guys bear with my question *winks. And if you are having a crush on me, now you know the next thing…

    Be proud of yourself whether you’re SS, AS, AA, AC, SC, CC

    Use this picture as a guide.

    I’d love to hear from you. Your concerns, your question and your story. Drop a comment or email me. Don’t forget to share this with every young male and female. Educate your family and friends. Love xoxo

  • GUEST POST: EMOTIONAL CONDOM

    Its such a miracle how God uses the simplest silliest things *laughs* to inspire us and leave us perplexed at his wisdom. That was what happened with this post.

    My featured guest blogger this week is; Ebisidor Ann Azu.

    BioEbisidor Ann has been a blogger for some time now, she is also a teen coach, mentor, author and the mouthpiece of The Siaisiai Ebisidor Foundation. (A movement that puts smiles on the faces of children as we put them in classrooms). She is passionate about healthy relationships, people living their best life the way God intended and lifting children up to love and growth. She blogs passionately at www.talk2ebijanded.com you should go see what she’s up to.

    This is what she shares;

    Can I have a condom please?
    If you had bagged some negative acts/dramas last year 2019, fall in here and read this piece. Trust me, it’s not that deep but it’s a must read so as to have a better 2020.

    When Chika, reached out to me in respect to featuring me on her blog, the issue on getting what to write on bothered me. I thought to myself,what on earth can I possibly write on; it just popped up to write on emotional condom.

    As we know that condom is a cool protection used when having sex and it’s basically against sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancy as the case may be.

    Today, I’ll be writing on emotional condom. Protecting yourself from emotional stress,issues, dramas this year.

    An emotional condom is the mental parallel to the physical condom – an actual condom keeps your sexual organs from getting damaged, an emotional condom keeps your heart and mind from getting damaged.

    Last year, I personally did not use this condom and a whole lot happened to me… Trust me, I know better now. It is my responsibility to get an emotional condom for myself to have a cool year. You should too!

    *An Emotional condom in respect to relationship (Friendship or dating)*

    When you don’t trust a friend enough to let them get close to you.

    When to wear a “friendship condom”?

    When you are still friends but you don’t open up to them or get close emotionally in fear of them being fake with bad intentions. You must be careful trust me.

    When to wear a “dating condom”?

    My darling, you must be more careful. You should know by now with all the experiences you’ve had that you’re not a trash spot. If they are not making conscious effort to be in your life, please leave them with no second thought. It’s your life you know. Better to be alone than be emotionally messed up.

    I remember a friend of mine that cried a number of times because the love cards did not favour her… The only advice I could think of giving her was to allow love be for now, be whole as a single, find new ways to loving herself more and somehow, love would find her. This worked for me though and I pray it does for her.

    Come to think of it, this piece is not strictly on emotions only, you can apply it to physical, psychological, and financial aspects of your life. The most important thing is that the condom is used.

    This year 2020,don’t go everywhere…

    Don’t do everything…

    Don’t allow everything…

    Ensure that you are emotionally protected. Learn to say no when you need to.

    Do not trade your happiness for anything.

    Stay alone if it gives you peace of mind.

    Read good books and keep good company.

    Invest and help humanity this year.

    From my janded empire,I wish you a 2020 of progress and good tidings. Cheers.

    If this post has inspired you, don’t leave without dropping a lovely comment for Ebisidor and a comment to encourage others. God bless you. Hugs xoxo.